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The Red Sox Did Not Play Tonight

And it was a relief.

2023 Munich Oktoberfest
That’s us.
Photo by Johannes Simon/Getty Images

The Red Sox didn’t play tonight. There wasn’t a game. At 76-80, they’re in last place in the American League East and eliminated from playoff competition. So what are they up to? Nothing? Probably. Let’s think about it. It’s probably something. Probably.

Some of them are probably watching Monday Night Football. There are two games again, which seems to be the NFL’s way these days, at least early in the year. Why? I’m not sure, except 2>1. Which, okay, fair. Numbers gonna number. Can’t argue with math. Also I think it’s that simple. Why not double your profit?

Another theory I have, re: baseball, that is plainly untrue, is that the Sox have been so humiliated by this late-season swoon that they decided simply not to play tonight. Obviously in doing even a cursory amount of research, I learned that the MLB schedule is set in the offseason, far in advance, and that any embarrassing late-season swoon coinciding with an off-day was surely just a coincidence. Of course, that’s what they want me to think. I suspect foul play. I will continue to suspect foul play until this post hits the minimum word limit, too, because I have standards.

The same can’t be said of the Red Sox, of course, but we all know that by now. The Chaim Bloom era was defined by a lack of standards. I think the guy did some good stuff, but that’s just a fact. Our mans did not care about swoons. Three last place finishes in four years! He seemed to draw strength from downturns, even. Not great!

The good news is that if we’re lucky, this will be the last fallow September in a while. Yes, it still sucks. It sucks! I do enjoy the Monday Night Football double-dip, but I’d rather be following important Sox games, rather than imagining the team refusing to play under difficult circumstances. Which they’re not, of course, but who would blame them? The WGA just won their strike. Power to the people!

You may be reading this thinking: What is the point of this blog? What is he on about? And to that my answer is yes. You get it. We need to feed the monkey over here at Over the Monster, and with Dan “Dad” Secatore out for a bit, we’re hard up for content. Which seems like an us problem but is really a Red Sox front office problem. Here’s a peek behind the curtain: When the Sox are good, traffic goes up; when the Sox are bad, traffic goes down. Crazy town! Who’d have thunk it?!?! But we still need words, and these are words.

Anyhow, next year will be better because the person running the Red Sox will be actively trying to assemble a good team, presumably, unlike Bloom, who seems like he was trying to prove how smart he is and also maybe create a good team. I haven’t (yet) run the Red Sox, but if I did I’d try to create a winning team so that fan blogs wouldn’t have to overextend themselves to say anything interesting whatsoever about the team as the season limped to a finish.

But that’s just me, twiddling my thumbs because the Red Sox did not play tonight. Which, for now, and only for now, seems pretty fucking nice.