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Jake’s Deadline Day Diary

Dear Diary, it’s over.

Stephen King, 2007 World Series SetNumber: X78959 TK2 R5 F27

August 1st, 2023

12:45 AM - As I rummage through my cabinet in search of a late-night snack, an idea comes to me. “I should keep a diary of my deadline day.” Kind of a silly idea, but why not? I then eat a popsicle.

1:20 AM - I check my phone one last time before bed. No trades. I’ve been paranoid every deadline since 2015 when Troy Tulowtizki got traded in the middle of the night. My friends were all awake and got to talk about. i was asleep and missed the discourse. It still breaks me up to this day.

6:22 AM - Roll over in bed and wake up. Gotta pee. After I pee I curl back up and check my phone. Still no trades. Back to sleep.

11:17 AM - I wake up for the day. [NOTE: I AM UNEMPLOYED.] Still no trades.

11:25 AM - I once again arrive back at my cabinets and find that I am out of cereal. Off to Dunkin’ I go.

11:33 AM - I arrive at Dunkin’ and place my order. I get a large cold brew with caramel and oat milk as well as a veggie and egg white omelette bites. This is not a paid advertisement but those omelette bites are pretty darn good! Yum!

11:39 AM - I sit on a bench.

11:58 AM - I get up from the bench.

12:03 PM - I pass by a cute dog on my way home and pet it. How lovely.

12:53 PM - A trade! Brad Hand gets dealt to the Braves. Sure. Only exciting part about that is Mr. Hand becoming an even better option for the Immaculate Grid.

1:09 PM - Jon Morosi tweets that the Blue Jays are acquiring Paul DeJong.

2:47 PM - Verlander goes back to the Astros. A man I once knew said “Verlander is great but very beatable. Does not have a good ERA in playoff games”. Pretty good haul for the Mets though, all things considered.

3:00 PM - 3 hours left and the Sox still have done nada. Getting a little scared now.

3:27 PM - Throw on MLB Network. The broadcast is showing a list of buyers and sellers and the Red Sox were not listed on either. I am beginning to doubt if my favorite team even exists.

3:41 PM - This MLB Network panel of Tom Verducci, Greg Amsinger, Harold Reynolds, and Dan O’Dowd is giving me brain worms.

3:56 PM - Robert Murray says Duvall and Paxton are getting some interest and Chaim is trying to be creative. Let’s get nuts.

4:03 PM - Bad news. I have a tummy ache.

4:28 PM - Still have a tummy ache but it’s not as bad now. In regards to the Red Sox, I am beginning to come to a place of acceptance. I refresh Twitter, I mean X, every minute. And every minute, there is nothing.

4:55 PM - Eddie Rodriguez blocks his trade to the Dodgers. Hilarious stuff. What a king. Love you, Ed. 2018 forever.

5:00 PM - Only one hour left now. Still nothing for the Sox. It may be even more over than we thought previously possible.

5:02 PM - Dan O’Dowd is currently crying on MLB Network about Eddie using his no-trade clause. This guy’s a real jerk.

5:05 PM - Order some new socks. Needed some new socks. Stance, only ones I wear. They get my strongest recommendation.

5:13 PM - Starting to think about dinner. Maybe pizza?

5:36 PM - Beginning to realize the Red Sox actually aren’t gonna do anything today. Trump just got indicted again though, so, that’s something.

5:39 PM - News just came out that Bloom is going to talk the media at 6:15. What is he gonna say? Nothing?

5:41 PM - I’m hearing Reese McGuire is gonna get activated tonight. Red Sox win the deadline.

5:48 PM - I guess we might be trading for Kolten Wong? He has basically just been another Kiké this year. It was funny when Koji picked him off to end a World Series game though!

5:50 PM - Ken Rosenthal just dropped that the Dodgers are talking to us about Paxton but it’s a long shot. Let’s see.

6:00 PM - It’s over.

6:18 PM - HOLD THE FORT! I guess we just got Luis Urias?

6:25 PM - Chaim just said that Urias is it. Okay, I guess.

6:30 PM - Alright that’s it for me here. If you want my RAW THOUGHTS on the deadline and Sox, please tune into this Wednesday’s episode of Pod on Lansdowne on the Monsters of Sox podcast feed. Jake out.