Let’s Dream Up Some Red Sox Bobbleheads!

I led off my feature last week with almost this same line but it still rings true; the 2023 Red Sox are not good, so let’s talk about something else!

One of my favorite traditions in baseball is the stadium giveaway bobblehead. The Red Sox have gotten pretty into these the last five or so seasons, but this year’s slate left a bit to be desired. Thus, they need to come out swinging next season. I figured I’d offer up some ideas.

Masataka Yoshida with his home run dumbells

Mostly just wanted to get this one out of the way to lead this whole thing off. I’m like, 90% sure they’ll do this next season now that it’s clear Masa isn’t a bust or anything, and Im excited for it! Hell, they’re already giving away the dumbbells themselves against the Astros on August 30th this year.

Rafael Devers with some soft serve

The Raffy Scoops nickname (Shoutout Jared Carrabis) has taken on a life of its own in the last few years. I had always thought it was just sort of a silly thing UNTIL last summer when Raffy was seen with a cone after a game in Seattle. This might be a little niche to Red Sox Twitter but I think it would still be a hit. Raffy’s tongue could even bobble like he’s licking the ice cream. He could wear his Sox uniform or he could be in a fun striped shirt and a propeller hat like a little stinker. Lots of ways to mess around with this one.

Manny Ramirez high-fiving a fan

Here we have what I think is an absolute slam-dunk of a bobble. Everybody remembers this moment. Manny Ramirez makes a running catch on a deep fly ball (hit by Kevin Millar), high-fives a fan, then guns the ball back into the infield to double the runner off first. A double bobble with Manny and the fan is definitely in the cards here, but just Manny reaching out for the high-five could work as well. Either way, Manny planted on the wall would make for a lovely display piece.

Garrett Whitlock using ASL

Just last week the Red Sox tweeted a video of Whitlock using ASL for Deaf and Hard at Hearing Night at Fenway, In that video, he signed that ASL was actually his first language. A bobblehead of Whit in full uniform using ASL could be quite spectacular. It could even be the giveaway on a Deaf and Hard at Hearing Night at Fenway. Obviously, he could only be depicting signing one word, so you’d have to get a little creative with that. I figure “Sox” makes the most sense. “Socks” in ASL is down below in .gif form (I’m fairly certain there’s not a specific sign for Sox with an X). Maybe the hands on the bobblehead could be what moves up and down to create the sign? Could be a cute little idea!

Shane Victorino’s ALCS Game 6 grand slam

AP

This moment often gets overshadowed by Ortiz’s game 2 grand slam, but I think it is ripe for a bobblehead. The Flyin’ Hawaiian could be propped up to appear as if he’s floating like the above image. Shane’s arm could bobble or you could just stick with the head, I think either works here.

“Here comes the pizza!”

One of the most iconic moments in Red Sox history, I can’t think of a more deserving event to be immortalized in bobble form. You could go a couple of ways here as far as including the thrower and the man struck with the pizza, or just one of them. But what you absolutely need to do is suspend the pizza in mid-air on a spring. Being able to flick the pizza back and forth would make for a great bobble. I also think a little button that when pushed would provide us with the audio of Jerry Remy’s famous “Here comes the pizza!” would push this bobble into 80-grade territory.

Theo Epstein in his gorilla suit

The Boston Globe

Wouldn’t this be fun?

Hopefully the Sox use some of these ideas and I get paid a handsome fee. Or they just give me tickets to the game they give the bobble away at. Or they just send me the bobble. Whatever works.