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The Tampa Bay Rays are Cheating

Something fishy is going on in Florida...

MLB: Oakland Athletics at Tampa Bay Rays Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

I can’t back it up, but I’m quite sure that the Tampa Bay Rays are cheating. Not cheating during games like the Houston Astros were doing in 2017, though. The Rays have taken a different route in the trickery, and somebody needs to get to the bottom of it.

That’s right, they’ve got nine right-handed hitters to smack grounders at the Red Sox shortstop in between home run swings. I hope you’re ready, Kiké! Oh, wait. Hold on, I’m getting another tweet here:

That’s right: Bobby Dalbec is starting at short against a lineup entirely of right-handed hitters. Fun!

But seriously, how are the Rays even doing this? This comes one day after Tampa had six left-handed hitters in the lineup. I’m aware of switch-hitters, but the chances of having that many effective ones are near zero. In the first game of the series, Tampa trotted out four left-handed pitchers. I’m sure they somehow have another eleven right-handers still in the bullpen. There’s obviously some kind of administrative shenanigans going on to allow them to have 45-plus players on the roster at any given time. They’ve found a way to do roster gymnastics better than Simone Biles.

Given the way the Rays operate, it’s within the realm of possibility that I get a phone call asking me to start in left field for them next Tuesday against Cincinnati, because they’ve identified something in the way I type that can help them win a ball game. Something doesn’t add up here, and the commissioners office should step in.