Many, Vegas included, are down on the Red Sox this year. The fine people over at Fenway Sports Group know that, and want to do whatever they can to keep attendance up, sell $11 beers, and maintain that bottom line. As we all know, high ticket prices and concessions are how we can afford to spend like the Dodgers and Yankees.
John Henry: “What has enabled us to spend like the Yankees and the Dodgers is your support. And that comes through ticket prices.”— Boston Sports Gordo (@BOSSportsGordo) January 21, 2023
Fans booed and then Kennedy interjected.
So, how do we drive people to the stadium to support a team that the media insists is destined for last place yet again? We give away cheap knick-knacks, of course.
That’s enough thinly veiled shots at ownership; the theme nights and giveaways are actually a lot of fun, regardless of the motives behind them. As I type this I’m wearing my Alex Verdugo #99 plastic diamond chain, looking at a Pedro Martinez Funko Pop and a J.D. Martinez laundry cart bobblehead, and blasting Tessie by the Dropkick Murphy’s. What can I say? I’m a sucker for marketing. Let’s take a look at some of the highlights from this year’s promotional schedule. Mark your calendars.
Carita ‘11’ Jumbo Necklace - April 3
The fourth game of the season on the same night as the college basketball national championship game is a tough sell. Unless you’re a huge Rich Hill fan looking forward to his return to Fenway, you probably aren’t too interested in freezing your ass off on a Monday night. But look at this necklace. That change your mind? Tanner Houck is 6’5” and it looks big on him. Put it on your toddler? Adorable. It’s for the first 7,500 fans, but I’ll be there, so plan on being one of the first 7,499.
Taco and Tequila Fest is back for the second year in a row after it was a hit in 2022. It requires a special ticket for the game that allows for early access to Fenway where tacos and margaritas are available for purchase. Personally, I’d go for the pulled pork taco with pineapple coleslaw because what screams baseball quite like red meat and cabbage? Maybe mix in a probably watered-down margarita. The real draw is this sweet hat.
Chris Sale Bucket Hat - July 4
I’m struggling to put together how this hat at all relates to Chris Sale. I guess the string is Chris Sale-esque. Maybe the hat disintegrates around the fifth inning? Who’s to say? Let’s assume the hat is a multi-use item. That’s a 10/10 hat. Perfect for the beach or the center field bleachers.
Let’s get weird. Come to the ballpark on Wednesday night for a pregame Grateful Dead cover show and a tie-dye jersey. There are 15 theme nights that come with a jersey, and I wanted to highlight my favorite design. I was actually at Greek Night last year and ended up with one of the jerseys. It’s surprisingly high quality. So pick your favorite, grab a ticket, and go home with a jersey. If it’s Jerry Garcia Day, maybe partake in some recreational activities beforehand. I won’t judge.
This is a fun one because of the element of “chance” involved. When you enter the ballpark, you’ll be given a hat representing one of the four Hogwarts houses. The website says it’s random, but my sources have told me there’s actually an AI algorithm that analyzes your tweets and comes up with a designation based on how many times you’ve disparaged Bobby Dalbec for striking out and how long you held on to hope that Franchy Cordero might be good (I still think he might be). Pro-tip: If you’re looking for Gryffindor, mix in a few tweets about how honorable John Henry is.
You’re going to want to buy this ticket well in advance. September 23 is right around when the Sox should be clinching the division and making that final push for home field in the playoffs. It’s a Saturday afternoon game against the White Sox, and the ticket comes with a Fenway beer fest item. I believe the item was a hat last year that doesn’t even have the Red Sox logo on it, just as appealing for Sox fans and drunkards alike. It also comes with four (4 oz.) drink tickets. Thank god Tony La Russa is gone.
I had to include this because something is amiss here. If you happen to be reading the site from San Francisco, you might want to check out the Giants game on September 10th. The first 40,000 fans in attendance will receive a buy one-get one FLIGHT VOUCHER from Alaska Airlines. There are some terms and conditions, but this has to be the best value giveaway in the league. Careful though, it’s only the first 40,000 fans and Oracle Park's capacity is 40,800. You don’t want to be one of those last 800 who come away empty-handed.