It’s a day that ends in Y, so that means we have find out another candidate has dropped out of the Boston Red Sox search for a GM due to “family considerations”. Whatever THAT means. You want to know what I’ve got to say to these these executives and their beautiful families? Who needs you?! I’ve got a list right here of some incredible candidates, none of whom would turn down our beloved ball club! (I think).
Manuel Arístides Ramírez
Now that Manny is back in the Red Sox’ good graces, I say we let him run the squad. Imagine how fun a General Manny-ger would be! His antics running the show would be iconic.
A player/GM? Why not! Whenever Triston gets interviewed post-game, he always seems incredibly insightful. I imagine that trait would translate quite well to the front office. Also, it would be so cool to see our GM tanning in the outfield every day.
The Guy That Broke Into Fenway in 2020
Let’s ignore the whole breaking and entering thing. This man was wearing an ALLEN WEBSTER jersey when he scaled Fenway Park during the summer of 2020. His brain is clearly operating on a level that the normal mind cannot understand.
Dustin Pedroia Sitting On Somebody’s Shoulders Wearing a Trench Coat
Dustin has always struck me as an intelligent guy. Many people think he’ll eventually turn to managing, but who says the front office isn’t a fit as well? I like my GM to be an imposing figure, though. So Dustin will have to hop on someone’s shoulders (maybe Big Papi’s?) and throw on a trench coat and bowler hat.
Has any soul on earth watched more up-close baseball than Dennis? He would be a great fit. His almost prescient ability to know the outcome of an at-bat the moment a bat and ball make contact could also be super useful in the front office. Maybe he could see the future in regards to signings, draft picks, and trades.
The Two Guys From Malden That Found The 2018 AL East Champions Banner
I just think these guys are one of Boston baseball’s great characters. Let them run the team. Who cares?
Finally, I’ll throw my own hat into the ring. I’m super intelligent, as you can see by book of choice in the image above. I also watch a lot of Red Sox baseball. But most importantly, I would simply only make good moves and never make bad ones.