Things I Am Better And Worse At Than Chris Sale

Chris Sale is out for the rest of this increasingly accursed season after he (allegedly) fell off his bicycle near Boston College. This led me, a guy who doesn’t fall off his bike, to think about what I am almost certainly better or worse at than Sale, who did. The following list is inarguable but necessarily incomplete.

THINGS I AM BETTER AT THAN CHRIS SALE

Riding a bike

Doing crossword puzzles

Making crossword puzzles

Playing The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Extended Edition)

Taking photos of my children

Blogging

Fitting into a Star Wars Storm Trooper costume

Playing Fantasy F1 (first place at summer break, woo hoo!)

Getting around New York City

Getting around Hartsdale, New York

Getting around Martha’s Vineyard

Making omelettes

Writing

Editing

Being divorced

Squeezing into a 2008 Honda Fit

Bouldering

Being right-handed

Playing Ice Hockey (Nintendo 8-bit)*

THINGS CHRIS SALE IS BETTER AT THAN ME

Pitching

Changing lightbulbs

Playing basketball

Cutting up Major League Baseball jerseys because you don’t want to wear them

Seeing the top of peoples’ heads

Squeezing through tight spots

Getting into Fenway Park

Making money

Being left-handed

Knowing “what the weather’s like up there”

Hitting

Fielding

Being married

Having children

Constantly being injured

Playing volleyball

Providing shade

Being angry**

* I am better than everyone in the world at Ice Hockey

** Very impressive to beat me on this one