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Meet The New Guy: Niko Goodrum

He plays everywhere! Just not that well...

Who is he and where did he come from?

He’s Niko Goodrum, Georgia-native and member of the All-Time Best Baseball Names Team. The Red Sox just signed him from free agency to a minor league deal.

What position does he play?

Every position.

Wait, What?

You heard me: he plays literally every position except for pitcher and catcher (you know, the freak positions.) He’s spent the bulk of his career as a middle infielder, but has played at least 11 games at every other spot on the diamond. Aside from his name, it’s easily the most notable thing about him.

Is he any good?

He was signed to a minor league deal, so, no. While he briefly looked like a league-average hitter in his mid-twenties (which, had he been able to maintain that, would’ve made him a pretty valuable player given his defensive flexibility) he’s since cratered and carries a .226/.299/.389 career slash line. He has little power and he absolutely loves to strike out (well, he probably doesn’t love it, but he sure is used to it, having done it in over 50% of his limited plate appearances with the Astros last season.) Maybe after adding contact kings Masataka Yoshida and Justin Turner, the front office thought they needed to balance things out a bit.

Show me a cool highlight.

Goodrum once went 5-5 with 2 homers in a single game — and he did it in his hometown. Can you even imagine how amazing that feels? I don’t think I’d go to sleep that night; I’d want that day to stretch into infinity.

What’s he doing in his picture up there?

Trying to get the wave going, and side-eyeing the fans down the row who think they’re too good for it.

Why didn’t you tell me what Wyatt Mills was doing in his picture up there in his “Meet The New Guy” Piece?

Because you get what you pay for.

What’s his role on the 2023 Red Sox?

Depth guy who hopefully doesn’t play but who, when he does, makes everyone go, “wow, what a name!”