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Red Sox vs. Phillies lineup: It’s a Zach/k off

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This year stinks, man.

MLB: Tampa Bay Rays at Boston Red Sox
We prefer Zack with a K, as in “Krazy how bad this team is.”
Paul Rutherford-USA TODAY Sports

The dead-in-the-water Red Sox return to Fenway Park seeking signs of life against the middling Phillies tonight at (sigh) 7:30 p.m. behind Zack Godley. He’ll face off vs. Zach Eflin.

It’s a Zach/k off.

We have no choice to get loopy in here these days. Laugh to keep from crying and whatnot. This is just the edge of The Bottom, whose depth we can only now begin to grasp. Everybody must go. If you see it on TV, it’s a for product placement. Wouldn’t a nice, slightly work Xander Boagerts look great in your lineup? He could? Call Chaim & Co at 617-555-TANK. Leave a message — they might leave you an All-Star.

Christian Vázquez gets the night off, as does Jackie Bradley Jr., with Tzu-Wei Lin manning center field. He’s... available, just like everyone else. Here are the full lineups:

Game 24 vs. Phillies

Lineup spot Phillies Red Sox
Lineup spot Phillies Red Sox
1 Andrew McCutchen, LF Alex Verdugo, LF
2 Rhys Hoskins, 1B Rafael Devers, 3B
3 Bryce Harper, RF JD Martinez, DH
4 J.T. Realmuto, C Xander Bogaerts, SS
5 Didi Gregorius, SS Mitch Moreland, 1B
6 Alec Bohm, 3B Kevin Pillar, RF
7 Jay Bruce, DH Michael Chavis, 2B
8 Scott Kingery, 2B Tzu-Wei Lin, CF
9 Roman Quinn, CF Kevin Plawecki, C
SP Zach Eflin, RHP Zack Godley, RHP