The Worcester Red Sox mascot is here to terrify you and your children

With the Pawtucket Red Sox officially coming to a close as their affiliation ends after this season, the Worcester Red Sox will come to being in 2021, assuming there is minor-league baseball again. It’s been a few years of preparation to get the park and city ready for its new team, but we are quickly approaching the debut of this new affiliate. We’ll have more on the unceremonious end to the Pawtucket era, but that’s now why we’re here today.

We’re here because as the Worcester Red Sox (or the WooSox, as they very unfortunately insist to be called) get set to embark on their on history, they unveiled the new mascot. It’s..... Well, it’s something.

I have a whole lot of questions here, but mostly they just boil down to: Oh God, why? But also:

• Why do his/her socks/stirrups go so high?
• What is going on in the waist area here? I hate it a lot.
• Why does a being that does not wear pants or a shirt put on socks and a hat?
• How many squats a day does this guy/gal do in order to support such a large head with no torso in between?
• Why are his/her arm holes so large?
• Speaking of which, why are his/her arms so close to the front of the head rather than on the side?
• What’s in the bag?
• Is “Smiley Ball” really the best we could do here?
• Does this being theoretically eat food? If so, where is the stomach? In the chin area?
• On second thought, I would prefer not to picture Smiley Ball consuming whatever it consumes for sustenance.
• Somehow, this mascot is still not as bad as the name “WooSox.”

I will say, to add one bit of positive as to avoid being too mean here, I am glad they didn’t find a way to make the feet as grossly realistic, what with the curled toes and all, as they did in the cartoon logo.

Anyway, that’s Smiley Ball. Sorry to have ruined your weekend.