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Red Sox 5, Royals 4: The longest and shortest game ever played

How the hell do you recap twelve minutes of baseball?

Kansas City Royals v Boston Red Sox Photo by Billie Weiss/Boston Red Sox/Getty Images

In one way of looking at things, this win for the Red Sox on Thursday took an excruciatingly long time. *Insert your tired, worn out, not-very-funny pace-of-play joke here.* The first and last pitches of this game between Boston and Kansas City were separated by about a full two weeks. Two weeks! We’ve seen the Red Sox fall out of it, come back and then fall out of it again all within the span of this one game! In the other way of looking at things, this win for the Red Sox on Thursday took an absurdly short time. *Insert your tired, worn out, not-very-funny pace-of-play joke here.* Fans went out to the park this afternoon — over 16,000, which is absurd — and from the time they watched their first pitch from these seats to the last pitch, twelve minutes had passed. The amount of time I spend writing this recap will be greater than the amount of time fans today watched baseball. It’s all just so very strange!

I already wrote about what had happened to get us up to the point at which they resumed play on Thursday, which you can read here. I sure as h*ck am not going to do all of that again! So, when we picked up play there was nobody on and nobody out with a 2-1 count in a tie game in the top of the tenth. Nick Dini was at the plate, pinch hitting for Meibrys Viloria, who was in the box when this thing was suspended in the place.

On the mound was Josh Taylor, who was also on the mound when the game was suspended. He got a perfect inning, with the last out notably coming against Bubba Starling. That is notable because Starling was pinch hitting for Billy Hamilton, an outfielder for the Braves. All of this is so stupid. I hate it and also I kinda love it?

Anyway, we proceeded to the bottom of the tenth when Christian Vázquez smacked a one-out double to put the go-ahead runner in scoring position. After Sam Travis was intentionally walked, Brock Holt played the hero when he put a single into left field, scoring Vázquez and winning the game. Not bad for twelve minutes — or two weeks — of work. The loss sort of snaps a two-game losing streak for the Red Sox, though officially it does not. Again, this is all so stupid.

The Red Sox now head out west to play more conventional baseball games for the next week. That starts at the home of old friend Don Orsillo and the Padres. That series kicks off Friday night at 10:10 PM ET, with Eduardo Rodriguez taking on Chris Paddack.