No time for silly talk! Let's get into it.
This really has everything
Phenomenal execution here, universe, and for the record, I would attend this party:
Honk if you're hunky
I don't know what HONK is up to here, but it's cool with me.
Hunky Dory on repeat— Henry Owens (@______H______O) January 12, 2016
The struggle is real
We'll need to check your (Baseball-) references, sir.
And let the struggle begin to find a place to live in Boston.— Carson Smith (@Carson_Smith39) January 12, 2016
You may not have it
I like David Price. You like David Price. I do not want David Price to have a milkshake machine at his house.
#tigermarket gas stations have do it yourself milkshakes?! Options to make your milkshake more or less thick!! Unreal...I want this machine— David Price (@DAVIDprice24) January 8, 2016
Come for the adorable children, stay for the disturbing doll head
Can't be unseen.
Spending our last day in SoCal at the happiest place on earth!! pic.twitter.com/h8IKQoKVRo— Steven Wright (@Knucklepuck23) January 12, 2016
This was -- by far -- the most popular Red Sox tweet of the week, though all of numbers 2 to like 11 belong to Koji:
I did too.
I hope one of you wins the #powerball today!!— David Price (@DAVIDprice24) January 9, 2016
Why, do you need a loan?
$217 million not enough for your milkshake machine?
Did any of you hit the #powerball?!— David Price (@DAVIDprice24) January 10, 2016
David Ortiz is not messing around
But did he ever?
To my Red Sox fans u guys deserve better Im getting ready for a monster season #staystrong #thebeast #punish pic.twitter.com/wxmUPZNtOJ— David Ortiz (@davidortiz) January 11, 2016
Koji Uehara The Premium Malt's Correction of the Week:
Each week -- except, mysteriously, for this week -- Koji Uehara tweets twice about the beer this column misidentified as 'The Premium Malts' last week. Friend of the program Nate T. -- or N. Tenczar, take your pick, correctly punctuates it here:
@bryanjoiner late to seeing this, but I'm glad The Premium Malt's is getting the recognition it deserves— Nate Tenczar (@nineczar) January 10, 2016
I went to the beer's official page, and sure enough:
This is the greatest beer in the world.
It's not the Rock, it's the Roc
Rusney's pulling people into the 40/40 club:
Welcome to the #RocFam @Ronnie_Stanley!— Rusney Castillo (@RusneyCastillo) January 11, 2016
The big finish:
T-Shaw plays the game the right way.
Bengals reaction to getting reality checked?.... Fight after EVERY SINGLE play. Grow up— Travis Shaw (@travis_shaw21) January 10, 2016
Until next week, friends!
Compiled by @bryanjoiner, who is a good man, and thorough,