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Red Sox vs. Orioles lineups: Oh God it's a bullpen game

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Can't we just, y'know, forfeit?

Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports

Have you ever wondered how a team with no bullpen would approach a bullpen game? Well, we're about to find out...

BALTIMORE ORIOLES BOSTON RED SOX
Nolan Reimold - CF Mookie Betts - RF
Ryan Flaherty - LF Dustin Pedroia - DH
Manny Machado - 3B Xander Bogaerts - SS
Chris Davis - DH Travis Shaw - 1B
Steve Pearce - 1B Rusney Castillo - LF
Matt Wieters - C Brock Holt - 3B
Jonathan Schoop - 2B Josh Rutledge - 2B
Gerardo Parra - RF Blake Swihart - C
J.J. Hardy - SS Jackie Bradley - CF
Wei-Yin Chen - LHP Craig Breslow - LHP

I know we just got off Rich Hill's third insane straight start. I know it's the sort of thing that pushes a "miracles can happen" feeling. But by God, this is baseball's worst bullpen, and they have to pitch not three innings, not even four, but nine?

It's enough to make you miss Justin Masterson. Which, frankly, I didn't think was possible until now.

First pitch is at 4:05 on NESN, WEEI, and the MLB Network, but do not avail yourself of it. Come for the bottom halves of the innings if you so choose, but subjecting yourself to the pitching today? That's madness.