Listen, Jays, let's make a deal.
We'll let you have this game in the record books. Call it a win, have it.
But instead of actually playing baseball, we have Mookie Betts take the plate for every at bat, and let other guys do the running.
You get a win, we get a bunch of Mookie at bats, everyone's happy! Deal?
This is why they should have made me commissioner.