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Mike Napoli, presidential advisor

Mike Napoli has a new job as a presidential advisor on beards. Wait, what?

Win McNamee

The world seems to love April Fools' Day, and the internet provides plenty of material. So sometimes it can take a day to catch up with everything.

Take, for instance, Mike Napoli's new position as a member on the President's council of beards. Maybe you haven't heard of it:

Today, President Obama announced the creation of the President's Council on Beards, a committee of volunteer citizens and officials dedicated to honoring our nation's history, and promoting men's health and wellness.

Finding inspiration from today's visit by the renowned beard enthusiasts from the 2013 World Series Champion Boston Red Sox, the President has pulled together an experienced, enthusiastic, and hairy team of council members to advise him on issues related to beard growth, health, and styles.

In other words, the important stuff.

Napoli finds himself in diverse company, working alongside the likes of Zach Galifinakis and...well, a dog. An actual dog.



Note that the name is consistent with that used by the team late last year. Someone did their research. I like to think that means that, somewhere in the White House, there's a day planner with "look up Red Sox beard names" scratched out. We salute your work, valiant intern.

The upshot of all this is that Mike Napoli now has the ear of the President. And while chances are he will use this newfound influence to promote shirtlessness, there's always the possibility that he can have the Yankees declared an enemy of the state, or maybe have the FBI launch an investigation into Tampa Bay's ability to sign young players to cheap, lengthy extensions without fail. Certainly some form of extortion is involved.

This could change everything.