Last time out, Jake Peavy made a convincing case that bullpens are media fabrications intended to diminish how awesome he is on the mound.
Tonight, he seeks to disprove the existence of the Chicago White Sox' lineup before moving on to determine once-and-for-all if Dan Shaughnessy is a real person, or a weapon sent back by the robot overlords of the future to make us all more open to humanity's fall.