The Yankees were quiet all offseason, and now the reason why has become clear. It was all building towards the acquisition of the mega-talent known as...Vernon Wells?
Wait, what year is it again?
The dollar figure involved has been agreed to, Vernon Wells himself has commented, and while there are still various dots and lines to put on the letters that require them, this seems like it's actually going to happen. The Yankees will take on, per Buster Olney, $13 million of the $42 million left on Wells' deal, and that will be that.
You may remember that Wells is only in Los Angeles because of a baffling trade from two years ago. Wells was already considered to be one of the worst contracts in baseball, so when the Angels traded Mike Napoli to Toronto and asked for very little money in return, they were rightfully mocked. Since then, Wells has been predictably bad. He's brought enough power to the table that he probably doesn't deserve quite as much scorn as he gets, but bad enough that Red Sox fans should expect the baseball world to have plenty of fun at the expense of the Yankees over the next week.
And then, on the other hand...
Vernon Wells is currently hitting .361/.390/.722 with four homers in spring training. Spring training stats aren't generally too much to go bye, and Wells is 35--an age at which players rarely enjoy a sudden renaissance after being bad for years. But these are the Yankees. Bartolo Colon, Andruw Jones, Eric Chavez, Ichiro Suzuki...New York is where the old and broken go to bask in the radiance of the old-but-still-youthful Derek Jeter and Mariano Rivera, recapturing their glory days for some fleeting months.
If you aren't quite ready to jump in on the merrymaking just yet, know that it's not because you're crazy. It's because you've been on this ride before, and you'd very much prefer not to go again. For those of you who prefer to remain rational, though, there's much mockery to be done. Enjoy.