After 3 weeks of nominations and votes, and another tacked on for that little holiday thing, we arrive at our final results.
We'll start with some of our informal awards, added on when the categories we chose ended up being early asswhippings:
The Pedro (Most Missed Poster) - The immortal Randy Booth. Miss you, homie.
The Schilling (Visitor of the Year) - A three-way tie between FrankWyt, BuSeaAir and PurpleToPurple! Here's what we're gonna do: The first of these 3 folks to respond to this post in the comments wins! Because you'll show a level of boredom and lurkage unlike any we've previously seen. Whoever wins gets to add a commemorative Favorite OTM Other Guy (2013 edition) line to your signature.
Disciple of ACEVES - Ben Buchanan (the commenter. Not the writer.) I will petition Our Lord to give you a better home in His dark kingdom.
The Dustin Pedroia (Community Participation) - I have no idea what this category was, but apparently it was won by outofleftfield. Except I think you're the one who suggested it, so I don't know what the hell is going on. You win some black fly spray, Mainer.
Next, I'd like to offer a special Visual Arts award to negaduck, who in his short time as a member has created many wonderful, bizarre, appropriate, bizarre and bizarre photoshops. Often on demand, no less. Welcome aboard, mate.
Now, on to our main categories for Outstanding Achievements in the Field of Excellence:
Most Enthusiastic Poster - AlohaSox. This was basically a no-brainer, as even with the loss of a job his spirits remained high. This is doubly impressive considering the greater competition from a World Series-winning team. Aloha was on his own with Bobby Valentine's daily dumpster fires last year, so this one he had to earn. You win this:
Enjoy your new avatar.
The Play Hard Always Fanposter of the Year - BobZupcic. Another no-competition victor, BZ has the highest quality fanposts, excepting the Annual Community Awards . Amidst all the general screwing-offing of our comments, BZ goes out of his way to post real stuff to make us all look smarter than we probably are. I grant thee even more pageviews and comments.
The Freddy Lynn (Rookie of the Year) - .406. I try to remain impartial as Awards Deity , but rarely have I been as quickly enthralled with a new poster as I was with .406. From his very first contributions to game threads, I knew we had a winner on our hands, leading to his speedy induction in whatever friendship/drum circle/cult I have with TLD and zeroB. The goat will never recover.
This is, mind, even more impressive considering the great crop of newbies we had. I'm sure it's partially due to our awesome season, but we had a greater contribution from newbies than ever before. I very rarely felt like strangling many you new folk to death this year. And I mean that.
As a rising sophomore, you get to demolish and/or help whatever new rookies come our way in 2014. Use your power for good. Or, evil, whatever, I'm not your mom.
The Cleat Up (Best Baseball Knowledge) - MaineSox. This was the closest battle we've ever had in the 150 year history of the Community Awards, narrowly won by MaineSox over Wolf and BobZ. So while all of you apparently know something about baseball, all your opinions are now null and void compared to our northern neighbor. Which leads to the prize: everything you say goes for the next year, MS. If you suggest we sign Tanaka for $300m and start playing home games at a Swampscott Wal Mart, we have to agree.
The Bill Lee (Funniest Poster) - nuthinboutnuthin.For the second year in a row, NBN is the funniest of all you bastards. I would try to mimic his trademark complex metaphor style, but that would be, like, Theo Epstein in a... gorilla suit factory staffed by... John Henry's... boat?
Apart from the perma-prize of Aloha responding with Ha! Ha! to every post, you must now raise the tenor of your comments with references to ancient mythology and literature, subtle allusions to Kantian metaphysics, and postmodern fart jokes.
The Ted Williams (Commenter of the Year) - AlohaSox. The most highly sought-after award, Aloha takes the prize as best overall poster, rightfully earning the accolades of all. Aloha is renowned around these parts for personally reviving dozens upon dozens of threads and posts due to the heathen timezone of his native Hawaii. The site wouldn't be the same without you.
Just as I did with Bloggy last year, you get to decide on your own prize as the reigning king of OTM (or as they call it, mo'i). Long live the mo'i, or at least until next year's voting, I guess.
Much love to you all out there, and here's to a brilliant 2014.