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Friday Red Sox Lineup: The Hitchhiker's Guide To A Bad Team

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David Ortiz is still hurt, but at least he remembered his towel.  (Photo by Jared Wickerham/Getty Images)
David Ortiz is still hurt, but at least he remembered his towel. (Photo by Jared Wickerham/Getty Images)
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Douglas Adams once wrote "It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on Earth has ever produced the phrase, 'as pretty as an airport.' "

It's not exactly surprising that no language has ever produced the phrase 'as pretty as a September 2012 Red Sox lineup' because that's a terribly specific thing and really there's not many languages with significant enough exposure to the Red Sox that it could even be expected of them.

But even if every last permanent settlement on Earth consisting of five-or-more people were given their very own copy of the Red Sox as they are now, playing an infinite number of baseball games over an infinite number of September 2012 days, that phrase would still go unminted.

Unless, of course, someone was being quite sarcastic indeed.

All this is to say that the Red Sox have not somehow found a way to make their lineup look any better than usual today.


Lineup

BOSTON RED SOX TORONTO BLUE JAYS
Scott Podsednik, LF Brett Lawrie, 3B
Dustin Pedroia, 2B Colby Rasmus, CF
Jacoby Ellsbury, CF Edwin Encarnacion, 1B
Cody Ross, RF Yunel Escobar, SS
James Loney, 1B Adam Lind, DH
Jarrod Saltalamacchia, C J.P. Arencibia, C
Mike Aviles, SS Kelly Johnson, 2B
Pedro Ciriaco, 3B Moises Sierra, RF
Ryan Kalish, DH Rajai Davis, LF