The wind it whips through
the greatest Bean town
Down across the river
And up through the ground
It slices right through
Your winter coat so warm
Almost useless in this
New England snow storm
Just when the Winter has
Cooled our hearts so grey
The Red Sox give us
This most joyous of days
But what should appear?
A sight for sore eyes!
A big stinky truck
Full of office supplies!
It drives right up
To our beloved ballpark
And four big strong men
They do disembark
Valiantly they carry
Box after box
From Valentine’s wraps
To old Youk’s jocks
They stack each box
Almost up to the sky
It’s enough to make
The meanest heart cry
The fans they do stand
In weather not pleasing
Shouting obscenities
Because it’s damn freezing
But rewarded they are
For dedication so just
Upon their outstretched arms
Useless trinkets are thrust
Wally the Green Monster‘s smiling face
Of course it does appear
It rides on a truck
With his green fuzzy rear
Once it all is packed in
All cross-checked and clear
The greatest crowd yet assembled
Lets forth a mighty cheer
Like Santa’s sleigh
The smelly truck it will drive
South through Connecticut
Down Interstate-95
Through Rhode Island and New York
Through Delaware it will ride
Through Maryland and New Jersey
A sense of purpose is implied
Only at truckstops will it halt
To lighten its load
A pee and beef jerky later
It’s back to the road!
Down south through Georgia
Our faithful truck flies
Stopping once more for
A final burger and fries
The sunshine state beckons
A beacon so true
We ignore all the parking lots
And the fetid poodle poo
The malls so grotesque
Don’t matter at all
The only thing that does matter is
Here comes baseball!
Yes! Baseball is here!
At last it is true!
Happy Spring Training to all
And especially to you.
If this year’s team does
Win all of our hearts
A small reason will be
Because of Al Hartz
So, "Spring Training is here!"
We all say with emotion.
The only thing left:
Don’t forget your tanning lotion