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The Ballad of Alex Gonzalez

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[Now with 100% more ballad!]

With apologies to Justin Timberlake and T.I.

Yeah, lemme break this down for you
Not on some sports stuff, but some real stuff.
Anybody seen the Sox shortstops
I know you see it my way.

OH! I been travelling on the road so slow
And my salary's low for sho'
But they still cry out for "Mo'! more Gonzo
More Gonzo, More Gonzo!"

Ever had one of those years, you wish you stayed here
Played your heart out but you got laid off
Theo don't sign, gots to go, why he won't can't say I know
Not overbudget, not some star, ain't no reason I can't go far.
Just got to keep up, sign elsewhere
Figure little Cincy ain't so bad
Reds gonna do if Red Sox can't be had.

Now I'm mad, hospital's sad
OR's comin' up in just a tad
Doctors take a look at my MRI
Vertebral fracture in my knee,
Never mind playing, no good now.
Not for the Sox or the Reds no how.
Down on the list, everyday
DL sucks, is all I gotta say.

Playas sign everyday, what's in my way?
Ho's, steroids, Lugo gottta block my play.
Could this be becuz of baseball playin'
Or did I break cuz a Theo's hatin'?
Usually GMs don't know what to do, backed against the deadline
So they just hit the waivers.
For Victor, for Byrd, them's I see
Holy shit, Theo just signed ME!

No more crap, no more wait
Now I'm playing, no more hate
Ain't gonna burn bridges already burned
That part of me done signed away
The rest of me is here to play
No regrets, gotta say, Gonzo's here and he's gonna stay!

OH! I been travelling on the road so slow
And my salary's low for sho'
But they still cry out for "Mo'! more Gonzo
Mo' Gonzo, More Gonzo!"
And OH! (Word!) I been travelling on the road so slow (so slow)
And my salary's low for sho'
But they still cry out for "Mo'! more Gonzo
More Gonzo, More Gonzo!"

I turn my head to the left, don't see no Lowrie by my side.
I turn my head to the right, still Lowrie's not in sight.
So I turn my head to the plate, and try to play it right.
That injury's dead and gone, so now I'm good to fight.
I turn my head to the left, don't see no Lowrie by my side.
I turn my head to the right, still Lowrie's not in sight.
So I turn my head to the plate, and try to play it right.
That injury's dead and gone, so now I'm good to fight.
Cuz'

OH! I been travelling on the road so slow
And my salary's low for sho'
But they still cry out for "Mo'! more Gonzo
More Gonzo, More Gonzo!"
And OH! (Word!) I been travelling on the road so slow (so slow)
And my salary's low for sho' (fo sho'!)
But they still cry out for "Mo'! more Gonzo
More Gonzo, More Gonzo!"