Bay NOT an All-Star

[Stop. Please read this before proceeding. Done? Now you may proceed.]

Once again Boston fans are packing the ballot boxes with hometown favories instead of the most deserving. Personally I hate those favories, don't you? Look at the numbers of some non-favory individuals:

Manny Ramirez is batting .348!

Juan Pierre is batting .322!

Carlos Quentin is on my fantasy team!

Alfonso Soriano, Matt Holliday

Those guys are like a MILLION times more better than Jason Bay. Jason Bay is such an offensive force that I have him on the BENCH of my fantasy team

I'm in a two league. Now tell me, which of these guys would you sit for Bay:

Holliday, DiMaggio, Pujols, Maris, Saberhagen, Chara, Federer, Bumblebee

Bay has numbers that are more comparable to Luke Scott. That would be fine if we were talking about Luke Scott in his prime. After all, this is Bay peaking and Scott plumbing the depths of the seedy streets of Baltimore like a cast-off from "The Wire." As far as career goes, Scott's going to get better acting roles than Bay.

So I ask,... who will teach me punctuation and the use of ellipsis? I mean, how does a player who I arbitrarily disqualify without actually looking at his numbers or anything beyond AVG and HR total get to be an All-Star periodnotquestionmark The so-called knowledgeable so-called fans of so-called Boston is so-called how. Or so I called. Your sports opinions can't be taken seriously with such antics; at least not by such esteemed connoiseurs of Fantasy Baseball as myself. Did I mention that I play Fantasy Baseball? Cower in fear of my judgment!

You want to talk about defense periodnotquestionmark Go ahead, I won't stop you. I don't know RZR from "Frasier." I don't know OOZ from "OZ." I hear UZR I think "Loser!" But I will make blanket judgments unsupported by evidence. Jason Bay is better than some, but not most. I'll tell you something else. Some of those guys are better than they think you think as well as you think they think they are,... I think.

Be sure to tune in tomorrow for my live FanPost-cast where I invite special guest Johan Santana to not be an All-Star.