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Manny feels ignored? OH NO!

Breaking news, everyone! Manny Ramirez is feeling ignored on the free agent market and is threatening retirement! Let's all cry him a river and build a bridge so he can get the hell over it:

Manny Ramirez is growing extremely upset about the lack of suitors for his services, so much so that he has told friends he would contemplate retirement if a suitable offer doesn't arrive soon, a person close to the situation told Newsday.

Now, the truth is that Ramirez is highly unlikely to retire. But his dissatisfaction speaks to the lack of buzz that his free agency has generated, despite (or maybe because of?) his outstanding two-month stay with the Dodgers, which followed a highly contentious split with the Red Sox.

[...]

Ramirez told a friend that he spends most of his time working out, watching cartoons and playing video games. He'd much rather be speaking to his agent Scott Boras about high-stakes negotiations.

Geez, if that's what it takes to be a pro baseball player, I'm signing up next year!