Insert profound musical lyric here
So I'm a little early, unless you're EST or later, but that's okay. Here we go kids. This is going to require a little creativity.
I live in the southeastern part of the United States, and unless it's the Braves, most people choose to be ignorant of professional baseball. That's fine. But every so often someone will say that comparing Gary Sheffield and Manny Ramirez as people is a fair comparison. They think they're right. There's an important difference. I always answer these people in the same way:
So here's the question. Pick a player on the Red Sox 40-man roster. What do you think this player would be doing if professional baseball did not exist?
Would Julian Tavarez be a sous-chef in Albany? Would David Ortiz design a line of fashionable menswear? Would Jason Varitek challenge people to staring contests for money? Most creative and seemingly accurate scenario gets a lifetime pass to OTM free of charge.