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Roger Clemens cost us the season

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Seriously. Where would we be if Roger Clemens had decided to make his triumphant return to Fenway in July and pitch for the Sox rather than the Astros?

I believe we'd still be atop the division.

With Clemens pitching, there's absolutely no way the Yankees sweep those five games. The Heavens wouldn't have allowed such nonsense. We wouldn't have been swept in Kansas City, Tampa, Oakland or Seattle either.

I'm just saying.

Since his return, and with scant run support, Roger Clemens has won 6 games in 15 starts. I'm thinking he probably wins at least 10 for the Sox. And in a little more than 91 innings, he's struck out 79, has an ERA 2.27 and a WHIP of 1.02. That's incredible! He's got a slight groin problem, but let's face it, the guy's a 44-years-old fastball-flipping freak!

I think I speak for all of us when I say:

"Roger, my man, how's about we close the circle on this career of yours? I'm thinking you and Mr. Splitty can come back to Boston for one final, glorious season--at a reasonable price, of course, and close this bitch out proper! With another World Series championship! What do you say?"

Okay, so the reasonable price-thing is probably out of the question, but what's $20 million dollars these days? George would pay him. And I think we should, too. Clemens's influence on Beckett and the young guns in the dugout would be invaluable, and his affect on the spirits of the entire city of Boston, from at least April to October, would be incalculable.

Please, talk amongst yourselves.