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All right, all right, everyone just calm down

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Myself included. After that disaster the other night, well, I don't know about you, but I was ready to make some serious hypothetical changes. I actually shouted, "Third place, here we come!" I was pissed off on two fronts: the ineffective play, and the fact that I had been forced to watch baseball played indoors--with something called "a baggie" in right field. It's un-American, I tell you. It's practically downright Canadian.

But, I've given it some time. I've taken a few deep breaths, counted to ten, and discovered that I'm not ready to give up on the season just yet--despite the fact that Cy Silva totally made us look like Little Leaguers last night. Fortunately, we won't have to face pitchers of his caliber ... come ... PLAYOFF TIME! Just give me a minute here ...

... Eight. Nine. Ten. Okay. I'm better.

Now that Javier Lopez has been added to the "7th inning by committee" this American League East-thing is in the bag, people! We don't need to capitalize on the fact that both Sheffield and Matsui are out of commission for a couple months. Slow and steady wins this race, my friends. SLOW ... AND ... STEADY! Just give me another second, would you?

... Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Okay.

So, yeah, like I was saying, there's no need to panic. The second round of inter-league play is about to get underway. And I like our chances to turn this thing around. I just hope this isn't the weekend that catapults the Braves--like 8 or 9 games behind the Mets right now--to their 15th ... STRAIGHT ... DIVISION ... TITLE! That would piss me off something fierce.

Anyone have a brown paper bag I could use?