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I don't mean to laugh

But do you remember when Kevin Millwood signed with Texas instead of the Sox this winter because he "wanted a chance to win?" Said it with a straight face, too! Ha ha ha!

That's a good one, Kevin. I think I've heard that one before though.

What's more cliché these days? "A chance to win" is the new "going out there and giving it 110%." Really. Why don't you just come right out and say why you signed where you did? You're not kidding anyone. They offered more money. They tacked on an extra year. You don't really care about winning. You want to get paid. We get it.

It would have been extremely refreshing to hear "I wanted $7,868,893 state tax-free" at the press conference. And who could have blamed him? Millwood was baseball's ERA leader last year (2.86). He was dominant in Cleveland. Truth is, I thought he would have made a nice #3 for us. But I was wrong. I should've known.

I lived in Atlanta when Millwood first came up, and even back then he'd look awesome one year--sandwiched between Maddux and Glavine--and horrible the next. When he keeps the ball down in the zone he's tough to hit. But he's been getting the ball up lately, and getting hammered. Oakland knocked him around pretty good in his last outing, scoring 7 runs on 9 hits over 5 innings.

So far this year, Millwood is 5-3 with a 4.88 ERA with the Texas offense is picking up his slack.

So we win again, for not having won the bidding war for Millwood. He would have been a serviceable addition, for sure, but not at that price. Certainly he'd have given us more than a few infuriating, emotionless outings. And we already have Matt Clement for that, thank you very much.

Millwood just wants an opportunity to win, ladies and gentlemen. And good Lord willing, if he puts his pants on one leg at a time, if he goes out there and gives it his all, leaves it all out there on the field, he just might be able to turn his season around.