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Them Are Fightin' Words, Johnny

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Wow, Johnny Damon. Way to kick the gut, and step on the face of Red Sox Nation.

I just finished watching Damon's press conference as the newest member of the New York Yankees. Let me tell you one thing: I'm angry.

Damon is proud to be a Yankee, according to Damon himself. He's proud of the tradition, and he's proud to be on a team with Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez and even Bernie Williams. Oh how easily he forgets about guys like Jason Varitek, Trot Nixon and David Ortiz.

Not only did the Yankees kiss his ass, but they kissed Michelle Damon's ass too! The most annoying woman ever to be associated with the Boston Red Sox is now going to be pampered like a Queen in New York. The first thing that Yankees General Manager Brian Cashman did was give Michelle 18 roses to welcome her to New York. Why? What did she do? Did she hit two home-runs (one being a grand slam) in game seven of the 2004 American League Championship Series? Or maybe Cashman gave her the roses because he knows she wears the pants in the relationship.

Damon said a few things that really stuck out in my mind. The first thing he said is that he's happy to be in such a "great" lineup. The Yankees do have a great lineup, huh JD? Considering the Sox led the league in runs this year. And last year. Oh, and the year before. But hey, the Sox lineup doesn't even compare to the Yankees', right?

He also said that it wasn't all about the money because the "mystery team," as he called them, offered more years and money, but he thought the Yankees have a better chance of winning. Yeah and if winning is everything, then let's just go play for the team that hasn't won the World Series since 2000. Oh, wait, though. I forget about the Red Sox who won just two seasons ago in 2004. Doesn't matter, though, right Johnny?

There was one more thing he said that just fried my nerves the most. He said, and I quote: "That team is dismantling." And, of course, he means Boston.

It may be true that we've dropped some mainstay players that have made a name for themselves in Boston, but the fact remains that the Boston Red Sox aren't about the players. It's about the "B" on the hat and the fans in the stands. And that's what Damon played for. It was obvious. He loved the fans and he loved playing for Boston. It shouldn't matter about who is or isn't on the team, because he knew that even if he went 0-for-4 and made two errors in the field, we weren't going to boo him. We loved the guy - no doubt about that.

We loved how he sacrificed his body out in centerfield and how he would lay down perfect bunts to keep the Sox ticking. We loved watching that long hair bounce up and down while he chased after fly-balls, and soon seeing his cap fall to the ground behind him. His personality, though, is what made him a fan-favorite.

Contrary to Bill Mueller, who was also a fan-favorite, Damon was loud and always gave his opinion. Most of that time his opinion was about the Yankees and, as we all know, it was never anything positive about them. But that's a big reason why we liked him. Some players won't even touch the rivalry subject, while Damon grabbed it with both hands and fed us, the fans, with quotes we wanted to hear.

Wear those pinstripes, Johnny, and kiss the ass of every person with any relation to the Yankees. It doesn't matter to me, personally. You could start a boy-band with Jeter and Rodriguez for all I care.

I hope your $13 million dollars love you, because Sox fans don't. And trust when I say this: you're going to regret everything.