The Francona Rules.

by Allen Chace on Sep 19, 2007 4:30 PM EDT in Open Thread Comment 13 comments

This guy is the answer to Jonathan Papelbon's request to meet a closer who went a whole season without blowing a save AND for removing trash from the clubhouse. Nothing more.
This guy is to be used when the requirements of the situation consist only of "brass balls".
This guy should never be used ever unless it's okay for the opponent to lead off the inning with a walk. See also: Lester, Jon.
This guy is a testically-charged spot starter. I have no clue as to the reason he is in the bullpen.
This guy is the ultimate example of a "hot hand". Do not expect this inexplicable level of success to continue.
Despite what his pitching hand tells you, this guy is for inducing groundballs from RHHs. He makes LHHs look better than *$15M right-fielders.
This guy is actually the very best pitcher at resting completely until the playoffs start.
This guy is the second coming of #2, circa 2003. Use accordingly. Also of note: he is not made of glass.
This guy is for causing spontaneous urination in your opponent. Make sure he's ready to rock by the middle of the 8th inning in close games.

*We here at OTM do realize that this is not setting the bar very high.

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Sounds about right.

Just my two cents. Keep the change.

by tommy.otm on Sep 19, 2007 4:47 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Re: The Francona Rules.

Oh sure, you wait until the end of September to tell Francona the rules?

John

by sportingchinwag on Sep 19, 2007 5:09 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Re: The Francona Rules.

Heh, nice.

by Allen Chace on Sep 19, 2007 5:15 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

OTM

Sox score at least 5 ER

I gotta go 'cause I'm probably definitely gonna nod out again.

by Drugs Delaney on Sep 19, 2007 6:45 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

OTM

Sox avoid sweep, get 7+ hits.

"We don't need him"~Curt Schilling on Roger Clemens

by LuXu on Sep 19, 2007 6:53 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Good Article

I don't always agree with Tony Massarotti of the Herald. But I do agree with what he wrote here

I gotta go 'cause I'm probably definitely gonna nod out again.

by Drugs Delaney on Sep 19, 2007 6:56 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Re: Good Article

I agree as well, with the caveat that I think it was Massarotti who voiced the opinion a couple weeks ago that the AL East race was over.

Also, this is an awkward but beautiful contradictory statement:

"Maybe Red Sox fans need something silly to worry about because they are unhappy unless they are miserable."

by Allen Chace on Sep 19, 2007 7:01 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

While it is

true that you guys like to feel like you're pushing a boulder up the mountain, I think dropping a 14 1/2 game division lead isn't something silly to worry about.

Yankee Ombudsman

by LateInningRelief on Sep 19, 2007 7:09 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Re: While it is

I kind of liked the statement in its isolation LIR. And it's not silly, though I can't at this moment make myself entirely worried about it.

by Allen Chace on Sep 19, 2007 7:11 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I disagree with the article. Put it this way: if the Sox fail to win the division, then they MUST win the World Series, or this season will go down as one of the great disappointments in a history checkered with great disappointments. 1978 will seem like nothing compared to blowing a 14.5 game lead.

But if the Sox win the division, that is an achievement in itself, and it would take away some of the sting of either failing to win the pennant or failing to win the World Series.

Put it another way: if the Sox fail to win the Series, does it matter to you at all whether we won the division? wouldn't winning the division be a nice consolation prize? Sort of like winning the Big East Tournament but losing in the NCAA's?

by BlowUp on Sep 19, 2007 8:56 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Re: Good Article

If we don't win the WS, after that, I'm most concerned about how far we make it into the playoffs.

Yeah. We drop out of this and lose the divison, holy crap, that's a gut-punch.

by Allen Chace on Sep 19, 2007 9:06 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Re: Good Article

It's definitely more of a gut-punch to the fans than to the team, and especially the FO. I'm pretty well convinced they could care less about the regular season so long as they get a shot in the post season. The problem is that us fans actually do give a crap, regardless of how well reasoned or intelligent we are. From my point of view, it's pretty much a roll of the dice sort of thing when you get there, as one team usually gets hot and takes the WS. Giving Manny or Youks an extra day off, or trying to figure out if Gagne can ever get an out again, might figure in a little to the post season, but it's killing the regular season. Give us the fans the Division, and we'll take our chances in the post season.

John

by sportingchinwag on Sep 20, 2007 3:36 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs