Breaking news: Bud Selig has decided that the Red Sox will be allowed to hit off a tee for the rest of the season.
"In the interest of maintaining parity in the league," said the commissioner, "we have decided that something needs to be done about this offense. And while some have suggested that reducing the speed of the balls from 95 MPH to 0 is not enough to revive this Red Sox lineup, I have hope that they will at least be able to give opposing teams a run for their money."
I, for one, am looking forward to A.J. Pierzynski's first swing at a ball that has fallen off the tee.