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Today on Wildlife: The Mythical Blue Jays Fan

"Hey Dad, what's that in the distance?"

"That, Timmy. That is the rare species of 'Blue Jays fans' that are only seen a few times a year. Mass amounts of Blue Jays fans emerge from their caves of sorrow to say 'the Blue Jays are back!'"

"But, but, how come they were in their caves Dad, who would wanna live there?"

"That's because they're Blue Jays fans, they don't know any better. Their species is known to be very pessimistic, and hates being humiliated. Unfortunately for them, they are often made fun of. It seems even when they should be a great team, it just does not work out. They hide in their caves when things go bad so as to not be seen in public."

"How come they came out from their caves then, Dad?"

"Because they were informed of a recent 8-game winning streak, so they came out of their pessimistic-shells. They have some reason for optimism now, however, they are very gullible. Whenever they start to feel good, things fall apart."

"Why is this the first I've heard of them?"

"The Blue Jays fan has been on the verge of extinction for a while. The past 6 months saw the population soar, then take a major dive again. With this past week, scientists can only hope that the upswing will take the 'endangered' mark off them."

"Are they different from Red Sox fans?"

"Ha ha ha, Timmy. Of course they are. They have loserphobia. Once the team starts to decline (which is often), the fans go away. Red Sox fans are known for their committment, and stay through the thick and thin. Now let's hurry up and go because some Blue Jays fans are known to carry a disease that converts others to their side. It's pretty sad, and--JOSE REYES MVP--aghhh! One of them already got me! Timmy! Run before they get--RICKY ROMERO IS AWESOME. Oh no! Timmy...tell your Mother I love her. Let this be a lesson...go- - -red- - -s-s-s-ox" *dies*.

A theatrical presentation of the Blue Jays recent winning streak.

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