FanPost

OTM in Cinema

My apologies to anyone identified by name herein that does not like or get the joke, or is displeased to be portrayed in such a way.

(Senzafine, MassGal, Bento Box and many other women, all wearing fake beards, are gathered in a courtyard yelling insults as Fromalabama is led in, hands chained together, by two moderators. Pushing him roughly, the mods turn him to face the crowd as one takes out a scroll and begins to read.)

Ben Buchanan (reading from scroll): Fromalabama, from the State of Alabama…

Fromalabama (to Marc Normandin): Do I say ‘yes?’

Marc: Yes.

FA: Yes.

BB: You have been found guilty by the moderators of OTM of uttering the name of the traitor, and so, as a BLASPHEMER

(The crowd mutters "ooooh.")

BB: You are to be banned for life!

(The crowd begins yelling, but is quickly silenced by a gesture from Normandin.)

FA: Look. I- I was just on the open thread commenting to MaineSox, and all I said was, "I wish we had gone ahead and signed Jacoby."

(The crowd gasps in shock and mutters darkly.)

BB: Blasphemy! He’s said it again!

(The crowd roars in agreement.)

BB (facing the crowd): Did you hear him?!

(The crowd begins yelling in agreement, and many feminine voices are heard. BB, in the act of turning back toward FA, slowly faces the crowd again, suspicion evident on his face.)

BB: …Are there any… women… here today?

(The crowd shifts nervously, looking in many directions but none facing the mods, as they mutter, "No.")

BB (still somewhat suspicious): …Very well. (Facing FA again) By virtue of the authority vested in me—

(MassGal abruptly flags FA.)

FA: Ow! Lay off! We haven’t started yet!

BB (yelling): Come on! Who did that? Who flagged him? Come on!

(The crowd pushes MG, still wearing a beard, to the front, yelling "She did! She did!" in high voices, but quickly shifts to deeper voices and masculine pronouns. BB glances suspiciously at the crowd once again before glaring at MG.)

MG (in a fake deep voice): Sorry. I thought we’d started.

BB: Go to the back!

MG (in her regular voice, but quietly): Oh, dear.

BB (shaking his head): Always one, isn’t there? Now, where were we?

FA: Look. I don’t think it ought to be blasphemy, just saying ‘Jacoby.’

(The crowd gets excited, oohing and saying "He did it again!" in high voices, before once again abruptly deepening their pitch.)

BB: You’re only making it worse for yourself!

FA: Making it worse?! How could it be any worse? (Begins kicking dirt at the crowd and chanting.) Ja-co-by, Ja-co-by, JA-CO-BY!

(The crowd gets very agitated.)

BB: I’m warning you! If you say ‘Jacoby’ once more…!"

(Senzafine flags Ben Buchanan.)

BB (irritated): Right. Who did that?

(FA laughs. The crowd is silent.)

BB: Come on. Who did that?

(Once again the crowd pushes someone to the front, this time the bearded SF, saying, "She did! She did!" in high voices before trying to sound masculine again and switching to, "He did. He did. Him."

BB: Was it you?

SF (without remorse): Yes.

BB (looks angry): Right!

SF: Well, you did say ‘Jacoby.’

(The crowd yells and dozens of them begin flagging Senza, who is booted off the server.)

BB: Stop! Stop, will you?! Stop that! Stop it! Now, look! No one is to flag anyone… until I blow this whistle! Do you understand?! Even, and I want to make this absolutely clear… even if they DO say ‘Jacoby."

(As BB turns his back to the crowd, dozens of them flag him and he is booted off the server. FA and MN look on in confusion and disbelief. The crowd begins to applaud and congratulate itself.)

Bento Box (to MassGal): Good shot!

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