Scene from Last Night

Visitor's Clubhouse, Yankee Stadium, Sunday night, July 29th, 2012, 10th inning.

Enter Bobby Valentine, still steaming from his ejection. He tries to kick an equipment bag but misses.

Enter Josh Beckett, swinging his arms nonchalantly.

BV: What are you doing here?

JB: Oh, I got tossed, too. All I did was tell him to go **** his **** in a way that **** like a cow's udder until it **** and ****, y'know? ****, what a **** that **** is. ****.

BV looks at him quizzically, but responds: ****in' right. No way Will offered at that pitch. Now his hand is hurt, and how's he going to bunt now? We're screwed if he can't bunt!

JB: Base knock, left field!

On a TV monitor Will Middlebrooks just singled off David Robertson, moving Saltalamacchia to second.

Bobby V starts to get excited.

BV: Sweeney has to bunt, Sweeney has to bunt. Tell Bogar! Sweeney has to bunt!

While someone in the hallway to the dugout relays the message, Bobby V goes rooting around frantically in his office.

Beckett frowns at him disapprovingly and hits up the beer stash in his locker. Moments later he's in Bobby V's doorway.

JB: Lookin' for your 'stache, boss?

BV: It's in here somewhere! It's gotta be. I thought it was...

JB: Forget about it. Here, take one of these. Relax.

Revealing he's holding two cold PBRs, Josh offers one to Bobby.

BV: Hey, I banned that from the clubhouse!

JB: ...

BV: ...

JB: C'mon, I have my sources. Just take one.

Bobby relents and takes the can of beer. They both sit down and relax as the game continues on a mounted television. On a 1-1 pitch, Bogar takes off the bunt sign for Sweeney, who fouls it off.

BV: Aw, what the ****, now it's 1-2. I can't get anyone to listen to me.

JB: Oh, don't let it get to you, boss. It's just that they all think you're an ***hole. But don't worry about it; being an ***hole's really not so bad once you get used to it.

On the next pitch Sweeney bounces into a force play at second for the first out. Runners are on first and third for Pedro Ciriaco.

BV: Oh, ooooh, Pedro vs. Robertson, you gotta have him bunt here.

BV gets out of his chair and shouts out the door: SQUEEEEEEZE!

Beckett winces out of the manager's view.

JB: Just sit down and let it be. They've got you covered. They can handle themselves.

BV (plopping back into his chair): How the **** did I get into this ****. I swear if he doesn't bunt--

Ciriaco swings away at the first pitch and punches a bloop just over a drawn-in infield for a go-ahead run.

BV: Aw, sh--WAIT! Pedro! Yes!


The two of them have jumped up from their chairs and pumped their fists. Beckett starts to pour his beer on Bobby's head.

BV: Woah, woah!

JB: Oh, sorry.

BV: Too far, too far. I've got to appear on camera.

JB: Sorry, too far. I need another--you want another beer?

BV, both sighing and shrugging (and smiling!): Sure.

Meanwhile Jacoby Ellsbury ends the inning by grounding into a double play. Bobby V throws his arms up in the air as he sits back down.

BV: See! See! This is why you bunt! I can't get nobody to listen to me around here!

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