This is simply a compilation of which Simpson character various OTM regulars (and obnoxious guests) most resemble, judging by their personality and attitude, or as much of such as can be guessed at by comments and posts and whatnot. Some of them may not be especially flattering, and I hope no one takes offense if I or the rest of the community feel strongly that you're a character you don't like much. I am sure I will forget some folks, especially people who are regulars that I just don't happen to run across very often. If I leave anyone out, please point them out and tell me who you think they are.
Ben = Principal Skinner. I think this is a pretty good fit. Both seem to be calm and try to stay above the fray. Skinner has flashbacks to 'Nam, Ben probably has them about spiders.
Marc Normandin = Kodos or Kang This is almost entirely because people were calling him and the other Beacon writers aliens when they arrived. Other than that tenuous connection, it doesn't really strike me as a good fit. Whichever he might be, Brendan O'Toole presumably is the other.
Gizmosandy = Abraham Simpson Cantankerous, argumentative, and venerable? Check, check, and check.
Matt Kory = Gil Krusty the Klown might be a suitable alternative, I suppose, but Gil is the Rodney Dangerfield of Springfield, and I think that tracks more closely.
I don't have any good suggestions for lone1c, mattsullivan, or Cee Angi at this time, so please chime in. I think BobZupcic suggested Chief Quimby for lone1c, but I'm not sure, and don't really know him well.
Speaking of BobZupcic, he mentioned he's an educator but with Skinner already kind of spoken for, who does he get? Superintendent Chalmers?
Sean O = Comic Book Guy, at least in my mind. He's campaigning for Kodos, and Nelson Muntz is also a popular and highly appropriate choice, but Sean's nearly limitless capacity for scorn is what seals the deal for me.
Bloggy = Horatio McAllister aka The Sea Captain This is wolf9309's suggestion, and it seems as good as any to me.
Wolf9309 = Rainier Wolfcastle Only because of the coincidence of the letters "wolf" being in both names, sadly. Those who know him better, does it make a good fit for some other reason?
German Red Sox Fan = Uter The kid with the liederhosen for those who aren't sure. He could also be Wolfcastle, if the OTM wolf should be someone else, perhaps.
TheLoneDavid = Jasper This is another tenuous choice, and for me the connection is that I often see TLD and Sandy trading barbs; it seems to be their primary form of communication with one another, as far as I can tell. Not sure that's enough, though.
Tessie's Dad = Professor Frink His Pink Hat Event Horizon Theory is what sealed the deal for me on linking him to the Prof. His cadre of impoverished Hindu joke writers could mean he is actually Apu, however.
AlohaSox = Ned Flanders Because they're both usually so cheerful and pos-diddly-ositive. Bloggy suggests he may be Dr. Hibbert, which I have to agree has a lot of merit.
Rogue Nine = Fat Tony or Snake But this is a very weak case, based primarily on the rogue/criminal synonymity.
Marisa Ingemi = Lisa Simpson As I said before, both are young, intelligent, and pretentious in the way all young, smart people tend to be.
Drugs Delaney = Disco Stu By general approbation. I personally don't have the data to draw any conclusions in this instance.
The Play Hard Always Guy = Ralph Wiggum No explanation required I think. TLD came up with that one, so kudos to him.
Outofleftfield and Nuthinboutnuthin are Carl Carlson and Lenny Leonard, at least to me, because for whatever reason they always seem to be a pair on anything I read. Probably a misperception on my part, but the best I can do for now.
John Leary is relatively new, at least as a frequent commenter, so I'm not sure who he is. I was thinking maybe Kent Brockman, but not sure why yet. 0bessions is another seemingly recent arrival, and while I have no idea if man or woman, the attitude thus far seems very Moe-like: rather combative, and of course being new he or she is getting the equivalent of a string of phone gags. Flasoxfan has been around a while, but I am stumped as to a match. MassGal may be Marge Simpson, though Sean O disagrees; I haven't come to any conclusions myself.
Given my chosen screen name, and that it is factually accurate, I probably have to accept Fromalabama = Cletus the Slack-jawed Yokel.
There are also some folks who seem to be somewhat regular but generally reviled, either from lack of respect or tact or both, and I'm not going to try assigning any characters to them, as I would prefer any meanness in this fan post to remain unintentional. Well, except for this:
RevHaloFan = C. Montgomery Burns Release the hounds! (banhammer)
Pesky Fan = Hans Moleman The over-looked, oft-forgotten, and generally unlucky. Ben says he's Bart, though, so that may trump my guess. Solution? This.
Sorry to keep you waiting Pesky.