Papi in a suit. Just 'cause. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)
This is a sentence you never want to hear: David Ortiz was involved in a car crash today.
The good news is that, according to one witness (and photographer), it was nothing more than a rear-ending outside of a local hotel. Given that Big Papi appears to be standing tall and in no way injured, maimed, and/or dead, we can consider this a bullet dodged.
Speaking of standing tall, how is it that a man of Ortiz' size fits into such a car (apparently an Audi R8)? We can see from this Youtube video that it is indeed possible. The question is whether this is due to some sort of bizarre clown car physics, Harry Potter wizardry, or simply a matter of sacrificing comfort for looking good.
Either way, it's got to be an experience to rear-end that vehicle, see such an imposing figure step out, and then realize all of a sudden "Oh, hey, that's David Ortiz!" It probably makes for a good story at parties, albeit a potentially expensive one.