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BZ's BiZarre Rankings

Bored at work (pre-finals week and all of my seniors are gone) so I thought I'd have fun with this homage to Grant Brisbee at SBNation and his off-beat "Power Rankings".

So I bring you the MLB "BiZarre" Team Rankings based upon SBNation Blog Names


I'm looking here for asthetics, creativity and common sense and and I'll throw in the Blog Banner Icon as well for added interest. Counting down from 30 - 1 with comments after the jump and no offense meant to posters from these blogs - all in good fun.

Note: These rankings are non impartial and fully biased

UPDATE: Due to more information on "Bless You Boys"! Tigers move from #30 to #21

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30. St. Louis Cardinals: "Viva El Birdos". Comments: Welcome to #30! I was initially intruiged. Is "Birdos" spanish for "birds"? Then I found out its actually "Pajaros". So a blog name using Spanglish that if it could be translated would read "Alive the Birds". I was hoping for more from one of the most avid Baseball fan bases. Icon: Angry looking cardinal (do cardinals get angry?) that looks like a middle-schooler drew it.

29. Washington Nationals: "Federal Baseball". Comments: Never mix baseball with politics I always say. Federal Baseball sounds like the government taking over my beloved sport - Bleh. I get excited about Capitol Hill about as much as I get excited about working on Mondays. This site screams take-over, I mean just look at the Icon: Capitol Hill looming in CF and ready for a complete annhilation of what you hold dear. Don't expect to many base hits to fall in. Oh and some statue is pitching with an absurdly illegal mound height.

28. Baltimore Orioles: "Camden Chat". Comments: Boredom Award! Ok lets take your stadium name - cool, I can go with that and then add the word "Chat" maybe because it starts with same letter? Chat just seems so old. "Let's have a chat" "Look at that girl, I'm going to go over and chat her up". This is baseball - we don't chat, we argue, pontificate, scream and villify. Chat just screams - "I'm not really into this". Icon: Decent Icon here with large Oriole head in from of Camden Yards and nice font usage.

27. Los Angeles Dodgers: "True Blue LA". Comments: Sounds like a reality show or cop drama more than a Baseball Blog. I would have given more points for just "True Blue", why the need to add the LA at the end? Wait - maybe it IS a show, you know like CSI, Spinoffs to follow: Coming Soon - "True Blue Alburqurque". Icon: Even the icon looks like a TV show promo!, Sunset behind the Palms, Block Blue lettering and an odd baseball stadium ruining the front.

26. Texas Rangers: "Lone Star Ball". Comments: Huge Space Balls fan, so I was excited to see "Lone Star" plus it does fit the state, then comes the crusher "Ball". Way to kill the momentum, I mean just read it slowly Lone Star - yes!, yes! - Ball - no! Wait this could be a dance! you know one of those fashionable events that you wish you were invited to and never were. You are cordially invited to the "Lone Star Ball" (Stetson hats and Cowboy Bots required). Icon: Like it - Wild West appeal with Sheriff's Star/Baseball affixed ontop of Texas state outline and Wild West Font.

25. Pittsburgh Pirates: "Bucs Dugout". Comments: Not bad but *yawn* not very exciting. So boring in fact, that I can't think of anything to say so I'll just talk about the Icon: Very Cool!, but then again - I like pirates, Pirate Movies, dressing up like a pirate, talking parrots the like. Cool looking pirate ship on a red sea with piratey font. color scheme doesn't really match the site, but nitpicking here.

24. Milwaukee Brewers: "Brew Crew Ball". Comments: Well I just lambasted Texas for using the "Ball" suffix so why is Milwaukee a while two spots better you ask? - Beer. I like beer and that in itself earns 2 slots in my book. Plus I'd much rather attend the "Brew Crew Ball" than the "Lone Star Ball" if I had my druthers. Icon: The icon places Beer in an almost heavenly light (which I agree with) yet its a bit sketchy.

23. Chicago Cubs: "Bleed Cubbie Blue". Comments: Going to piss of some rabid Cub fans with this ranking but - who cares. Cubbie? I know - Chicago fans go around all the time saying "Cubbies". So you take an already juvenille bear and ake it seem even more juvenille sounding. Icon: Ok Wrigley brick wall - check, Ivy - check, words that looked like someone spray-painted the venerable wall - check. Wait why aren't the words "cubbie blue"? 

22. Florida Marlins: "Fish Stripes" Comments:  I kinda like it, then I don't, then I do, then I don't - this indecision leads me to place the fish at #21. Points for going for something unlike the next group of sites (The Rhymers), lack of points for what doesn't really flow well at all - "Fish Stripes". How about "Fish Guts"? Icon: Nice with Marlin jumping out of a hole in a Micrsoft Power Point background.

21. Detroit Tigers: "Bless You Boys". Comments: Ok, so if I were asked to visit a Blog called "Bless You Boys" without any prior knowledge here would be my first thoughts: Christian Boy Band. After some insider information, I have come to understand that this comes from Ernie Harwell, who is a legend. Still don't like it overall as a Blog Title choice, but I respect Mr. Harwell. (Thus the 9 spot jump) Icon: Detroit lettering of "Bless You Boys" with a Tiger who got unlucky enough to be close to an exploding can of blue paint. 

20. Oakland A's: "Athletics Nation" Comments: Wait a minute - "Nation". In my book you need to have a global fan-base to use the word "Nation" and the A's can't even manage to fill their own stadium - points off! which is a shame because the Icon: Is pretty sweet, Green North America cut-out over a golden baseball with the aproximate location of Oakland starred against a green background - I like it.

19. Cincinnati Reds: "Red Reporter" Comments: Ok, obviously about the Reds and reporting but a little bland/obvious dontcha think? Good for a news site but a baseball blog with pasionate fans? Icon: CGI Reporter who needs a shave with a piece of paper stuck in his fedora, looks like it came right out of a Comic Book, Nice!

18. Kansas City Royals: "Royal Review" Comments: Good - has a ring to it, flows nicely off of the tongue. Review beats Reporter in my book - by one point. Icon: Ok, crowned ball with a bat...bit jumbly/cartoonish

17. Cleveland Indians: "Let's Go Tribe" Comments: Kudos for not going the Rhyming route, but a chant that doesn't really pack a punch. Can't really say much more as I'm just not into it - "Let's go BZ". Icon: Native-fest! I stared at it awhile hoping for one of those hidden images to pop out.

16. Tampa Bay Rays: "DRaysBay" Comments: Your team moves on from the Devil and yet you must still pay homage with a "D", of course DRaysBay sounds a lot better than RaysBay. Spacing where are you? Icon: I'm not a fan of TLAs (Three Letter Acronyms) but I'm a bit intruiged. Still looks like the promo for the Medical Show "Dr. B".

15. San Diego Padres: "Gaslamp Ball" Comments: Again with the "Ball" and I'm guessing there is some significance to the Gaslamps that I'm unaware of. Again sounds like a fancy dance and while the "Gas Lamp Ball" sounds intruiging, I'm still choosing the "Brew Crew Ball" Icon: Very cool  

14. Houston Astros: "The Crawfish Boxes" Comments: I truly want to like this more as I'm sure there is some Houston'ish meaning I'm missing here. But since its not obviously about baseball, this is as far as I can move them up which is a shame because of the Icon: Very cool, no baseball stuff here but a crawfish, which I enjoy eating and a cool layout.

13. Toronto Blue Jays: "Bluebird Banter" Comments: So basically the Orioles and Blue Jays sites say basically the same thing yet one is ranked at 27 and the other at 14. That's how much I like "Banter" over "Chat" Banter just sounds like something is happening. Plus Bluebird Banter just rolls off the tongue. Icon: Colorful Blue Jay in front of the Maple Leaf - very classy.

12. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim: "Halos Heaven" Comments: Fits nicely, Halos, Heaven - works on both a first-letter and logical level. Icon: Ok, a bit video-gamish but works.       

11. New York Yankees: "Pinstripe Alley" Comments: Yanks fans - sorry - this is a biased post and I could not bring myslef to allow you into the top ten. That said - Pinstripe Alley is a solid, if not spectacular entry in to the Blog Name community and you should be proud. Wait you are already proud so moving along Icon: Bridge above a James Bond like eye viewing the Empire State Building - Classy.

10.  Philadelphia Phillies: "The Good Phight" Comments: I see where you are going with this - Remove the F and replace with PH - clever. Works on many levels, which gets you in the top ten - barely Icon: Fonts are pretty good and I get the Liberty Bell. Thrown off a bit by the white boxer outline, but on the whole nice.

9. Colorado Rockies: "Purple Row" Comments: Lot to like here. Purple is my favorite color and there are rows of purple seats at Rockie Stadium. Kinda makes you feel you are at the stadium and jawing with your buds seated in the purple row. Icon: One of my favs - baseball coming in from ther Rockies over the purple row of seats and cool lettering.

8. Chicago White Sox: "South Side Sox" Comments: Kudos on the triple-first-letter feat! You just scored 3 points in Scategories!  Icon: Like it - Very artistic - almost like the intro into a documentary film.   

T6. New York Mets: "Amazin' Avenue" Comments: Our first tie! I like things that make me think of music and I like music. Props to the Mets for making me sing Eddy Grants "Electric Avenue" every time I look at the site. "We gonna rick down to - Amazin' Avenue - and then we'll take it higher!" Works on all levels: first letter score, I like "Avenue" because it feels very street, like you're hanging out with your buds drinking beers on Friday night. Icon: Blah, City outline with some cursive fonting in front - pretty boring

T6. Minnesota Twins: "Twinkie Town" Comments: "Wont you take me to - Twinkie Town!". Food points earns it one more point that the Mets - Twinkies - yum!. Icon: Baseball lying in the grass like someone drove it right out of the city.

5. Seattle Mariners: "Lookout Landing" Comments: Used to live in Seattle and attended numerous games at Safeco, Dave Cameron, etc. = points. Icon: Misery and a bar, very baseballish although fuzzy.  

4. San Francisco Giants: "McCovey Chronicles" Comments: Classy homage to one of the most beloved players in the club's history. He's got a cove, now he has a Blog. Icon: The classiness continues with this simple yet elegant entry. Baseball floating in the couds in front of S.F. Colorful block lettering above. McCovery smiling from heaven.  

3. Atlanta Braves: "Talking Chop" Comments: Let's see - we've got a pun that fits both the team's schtic and fits as a Blogging site. Bingo! Plus its my dad's favorite team which earns it many points. Icon: Tomahawk fits but its a little childish, Cursive block lettering with a glow! 

2. Arizona Diamondbacks: "AZ Snake Pit" Comments: Almost perfect! "The Snake Pit" would have pushed for a number one ranking. The AZ throws it off a bit and is unnecessary. Icon: Cool looking diamondback about to strike! Watch-out! Nice lettering.  

and the winner is

1. Boston Red Sox: "Over the Monster" Comments: Clearly the best. Let's see we got the iconic field element, and a homage to the homerrun being hit over the iconic field element. Unmistakable yet simple and unlike other sites lends itself to and easy-to-use short-hand TLA of "OTM". Icon: Iconic               

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