What can the Sox do with $1.75 million dollars?

Rather than pay Hideki Okajima's 2011 salary, I think Red Sox management could spend the money in much more useful ways. Clearly, they're not going to give me the $1.75 million to spend—for which they have my undying enmity forever and ever. On the other hand, if they are determined to blow the money, they could:

  1. Buy a copy of Civilization V for everybody attending a given game at Fenway.
  2. Encourage environmentalism by buying a new Prius for everybody on the roster, as well as the coaches.
  3. Can you say "Free Fenway Frank Fridays?"
  4. Dip every ball that Papi bunts past the shift in 24-karat gold.
  5. Let the PawSox and Sea Dogs have nightly spreads to make them the envy of AA and AAA teams everywhere.
  6. Hire a bevvy of buxom Boston beauties to befuddle and bemuse the opposing batters and pitchers.
  7. Provide Ozzie Guillen with an anger management coach, plus an Ozzie-to-English translator.
  8. Stage a live fireworks show after every Laser Show by Dustin Pedroia.
  9. Deck out the bullpen in style: barcaloungers, high-definition plasma TV's, jukebox, video games, you name it.
  10. Set fire to a pile of 20,000 $1 bills each day at John Henry's house to keep it warm during the winter.

What are your suggestions for how to use the money? (Oh, and answer the poll below!)

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