TLD's convoluted scheme to fix the offseason.

I did one of these earlier in November, and now that the offseason has passed it's halfway point, and the FO has pissed off several of us by not making a move for a starter, I'd like to once again try my hand at the ideal offseason, from January 1, 2012 until the start of Spring Training.

Ironically, the first deal I make might have me running out of Fenway in a gorilla suit. I trade Kevin Youkilis and four million dollars to the Milwaukee Brewers for Shaun Marcum and 2B/SS prospect Scooter Gennet. The Brewers would get their replacement for Prince Fielder, and someone to hit in the middle of the lineup with Ryan Braun and Aramis Ramirez. Youkilis's career would be lengthened moving back to first base, and the Red Sox would acquire their reliable 4th starter. Scooter Gennet last played in High A ball for the Brewers' minor league system, and is a middle infielder who needs to develop patience at the plate, but unlike Xander Bogearts, Gennet could, and likely should stay in the middle of the infield.

My next move puts to rest any notion of Daniel Bard being a starting pitcher for the Boston Red Sox... by moving him to San Diego. I send Bard, Jose Iglesias, Alex Hassan, and Alex Wilson to the Padres in exchange for Tim Stauffer and Chase Headley. With Stauffer in the fold, Bard would have been forced back into our already-stacked bullpen, but in San Diego he has a chance to either start or close, and is put into a better position to succeed and earn himself a massive payday when he hits free agency. Iglesias is moved from a park that values offense, to a park that values run prevention. If his bat comes along even a little bit, he can be an excellent player in San Diego. Wilson and Hassan help wrap up the package. Stauffer comes to Boston with two years of arbitration left, he will go to his second arbitration in 2012, and his third and final in the early months of 2013 and brings with him an improved xFIP of 3.71, and a ground ball % over fifty. He won't be a lock to match his 185 innings last year, but if he's healthy, he'll put up good numbers for a #5 starter, and most importantly, he's guaranteed to not be John Lackey or Tim Wakefield.

Chase Headley took a new approach into 2011 and his walk rate jumped up to 11%. When you consider his career SLG away from Petco is over 100 points higher than his home number, then even with a .368 BABIP last year (career .339) he looks to be a solid contributor to the 2012 Red Sox lineup. He won't be an all-star, but he can be counted on to provide roughly above-average defense at third. He's also played 430 games in the last three seasons, compared to Youk's 358.

Finally, having dealt both Youkilis and Iglesias, I find myself with a little money to spend, and a rather disconcerting hole in right field. With an absence of Andruw Jones, who recently went back to the Yankees, I offer a backloaded four-year deal to Yeonis Cespedes worth $43 million dollars (7/10/13/13). Cespedes is said to be looking for $60 million dollars, but unless the Marlins or Nationals go a little crazy, I am confident that my contract will be the winning bid. Cespedes is a risk, there's no guarantee he can hit major league pitching, but with Carl Crawford underperforming last year, I can't take the risk that Crawford's contract flops, we need offense from the corner outfield positions, and Cespedes is the most likely candidate to offer that offense.

The 2012 Red Sox Opening Day Roster reads as follows:

C: Jarrod Saltalamacchia

1B: Adrian Gonzalez

2B: Dustin Pedroia

SS: Marco Scutaro

3B: Chase Headley

LF: Carl Crawford

CF: Jacoby Ellsbury

RF: Yeonis Cespedes

DH: David Ortiz

OF: Ryan Sweeny

INF: Nick Punto

C: Kelly Shoppach

UTIL: Mike Aviles

SP: John Lester

SP: Josh Beckett

SP: Shaun Marcum

SP: Clay Buchholz

SP: Tim Stauffer

RP: Matt Albers

RP: Franklin Morales

RP: Bobby Jenks

RP: Alfredo Aceves

RP: Felix Doubront

RP: Mark Melancon

RP: Andrew Bailey

This is not the team I wanted to field in 2012 when the offseason started in November. This is not really the team I want to field right now. But after the holes that have been dug, I feel like this team gives us the best chance to win now and in the future.