Community Projections: Jason Varitek
by Randy Booth on Mar 4, 2009 12:23 AM EST
in Community Projections
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PrintYes, ladies and gentlemen, Over The Monster community projections are back!
If you're new to OTM, this game is quite simple. I post a player's name and certain categories. You, as the reader, then predict -- using those categories -- what the player will do in the 2009 season. At the end of the season I will average everyone's guesses, see who had the closest guesses and declare a winner (of sorts). If you don't understand, well ... then just watch, I guess.
I'd like to try and do the entire starting lineup, but we'll see how that goes. Let's just start going around the horn anyway by starting with your captain, Jason Varitek.
Just copy and paste this form in the comments and insert your answers for what you think Varitek will do:
AB:
HR:
BA:
OBP:
SLG:
It's always a pain choosing categories that everyone agrees on, so if these suck, let me know and I might change them. Might.
Have fun!
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AB: way too many…
HR: 10-15 in the least possible clutch situations
BA: Is it possible to go lower from last year? .221, I’ll be optimistic
OBP: please at least .320
SLG: .370 would be a win (yeah, he was that bad last year)
"Well let me just quote the late-great Colonel Sanders, who said...'I'm too drunk to taste this chicken.' "
-Ricky Bobby
This isn't very optimistic...
AB: 375
HR: 5
BA: .215
OBP: .312
SLG: .370
Adopted Giant: Clayton Tanner (unless someone tells me he's already been adopted)
by walkoff baltimore chop on Mar 4, 2009 1:31 AM EST reply actions
I can dream.
AB: 0
HR: 0
BA: 0.0
OBP: 0.0
SLG: 0.0
While on a routine charity golf tournament, Varitek is struck by a one-legged masked man driving a golf cart, plowing into his knees and forcing him to miss the season. Immediately, a little known opt-out clause in the new contract is exercised by the Red Sox organization.
Meanwhile, a large bundle floats down the Charles River, until a passing Theo Epstein, who just happened to be jogging by the waterfront, opens it. Inside is Taylor Teagarden, his Rangers contract in tatters, and he himself marooned in this ocean we call life. The altruistic Epstein offers him a place with the Red Sox, which he graciously accepts. [Twenty years later, Teagarden, by then regarded as the greatest Sox catcher ever, descends from top of the Green Monster, announcing a series of guidelines for the sport, which revolutionize it for all time.]
As this goes on, the police detective assigned to investigate Teagarden’s abduction and Tek’s attack (which he knows on a gut level are connected, somehow) is unable to crack the lone witness, Alex Rodriguez, who is about to be released. Suddenly, staring at his colleague’s disorganized office, he sees through the wall of lies the reclusive slugger had told him; he drops his cup of coffee, and on the floor the shards of it read “Scott Boras Corporation.” He chases after the elusive slugger, darting onto the street, but all he catches is a sight of A-Rod being driven off, a mysterious blonde woman at the helm.
"It's just a tiny little nick, but it hurts when I get champagne in there."
- Jason Bay, on getting spiked scoring the winning run in ALDS Game Four.
by 0157H7 on Mar 4, 2009 2:38 AM EST reply actions 4 recs
Madonna's Blonde too
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
by sox-inda-south on Mar 4, 2009 12:51 PM EST up reply actions
Tek plays in Wake's golf tournies every year.
Maybe Wake gets fed up with Tek never wanting to catch him.
Wish Wake would invite me!
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
by sox-inda-south on Mar 5, 2009 5:51 AM EST up reply actions
How did you change the background color of your comment? Some of the hockey guys were talking about doing this to highlight the site’s authors or site managers in the comment section.
by Stanley Cup of Chowder on Mar 7, 2009 5:22 PM EST up reply actions
Tek
AB: 385
HR: 14
BA: .249
OBP: .310
SLG: .410
I'm optimistic, I know
AB: 375
HR: 9
BA: .260
OBP: .350
SLG: .400
Caught Stealing – 28% (apparently Jay Bruce tested him yesterday, and Tek nailed him).
Manny ain't the only bad man.
Why are we going to need 15 rallies?
We’re obviously going to win every game this year with Tek back.
AB: 387
HR: 12
BA: .248
OBP: .319
SLG: .384
Another Prediction: TEK finds a sexy blonde to replace his divorced wife and settles down after his current contract is up.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Settles down?
No way. He’s going to become the manager for some scruffy, never-winning team (Royals, Pirates) and lead them on the glorious road of redemption, through personal squabbles and public heartache, onwards to fifth place.
And when they finish the season twenty games below .500, he’ll appear before reporters, his eyes wet, saying how they played their hearts out all season, and that maybe it didn’t turn out so good, but dammit he loves them, and the effort they put in, and if that doesn’t count for something then, By Golly, he doesn’t know what does.
"It's just a tiny little nick, but it hurts when I get champagne in there."
- Jason Bay, on getting spiked scoring the winning run in ALDS Game Four.
AB: 410
HR: 11
BA: .235
OBP: .320
SLG: .390
For a whopping OPS of .710. It could be worse, I suppose. These projections are based on the Red Sox not acquiring another catcher.
"You know you're having a bad day when the fifth inning rolls around and they drag the warning track." - Mike Flanagan, Baltimore Orioles pitcher, 1992.
bs not reading all of the comments?
Well, I'll appreciate for you to keep my zingers outta your mouth!
I'll try
AB: 275
HR: 5
BA: .250
OBP: .325
SLG: .350
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
Tek
AB: 380
HR: 8
BA: .235
OBP: .300
SLG: .375
All of our predictions on Tek look pretty similar. I’d like us to make projections for Ellsbury, Drew, Lowell, Ortiz, Dice-K, and other guys that would generate a wider range of stats.
I think a couple comments above are right
What if the Redsox do find Taylor Teagarden floating down the Mississippi on a trip to Minnesota this year? I think these community projections would almost all have to be thrown out the window. Here’s my idea: July 29, 2009
Redsox send: Brad Penny, Clay Bucholz, and Jed Lowrie
Texas sends: Taylor Teagarden/Salty and Elvis Andrus. We could also use any evidence to incriminate A-Roids.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Varitek 2009 Season
I think sleeping next to Heidi would cause anyone’s stats to climb a bit. Maybe Tek should give Lugo a go…
AB: 390
HR: 11
BA: .258
OBP: .343
SLG: .404
I think he means Tek...
who is already dating Heidi (she caused his divorce supposedly), should let Lugo have a go with her, to see if it helps Lugo.
Thank you
I thought that would have been clear, but…
by A2004LoveAffair on Mar 8, 2009 3:05 PM EDT up reply actions
Tek
AB: 385
HR:7
BA: .226
OBP: .350
SLG: .370
That’s including AFTER he gets traded.
Well, I'll appreciate for you to keep my zingers outta your mouth!
... Traded for a bucket of baseballs.
Well, I'll appreciate for you to keep my zingers outta your mouth!
Tek
Late projections, but Ive found myself with a lunch break and nothing to do so i’m throwing them out there for all to see:
AB: 407
HR:12
BA: .237
OBP: .335
SLG: .390
Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
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