RED SOX VS. YANKEES (TEAM OF TEH TWO CENTURIES = 1900 TO 2100) - JUST THE FACTS
by 0157H7 on Nov 9, 2009 12:51 PM EST
29 comments
[Stop. Please read this before proceeding... NANANANANA, STATMAN!... Done? Now read on.]
"Ladies and Gentlemen, the story you are about to read is true. Only the words have been changed to protect the innocent."
[Cue Dragnet intro music.]
Hi Fans,
I decided to create this post simply so that I could understand it, as opposed to complicatedly, which is hard to understand... I mean so that there is no more whining from either side of the so-called Red Sox Yankees rivalry. The numbers listed below are facts and not opinions:
YANKEEZ Numberz of teh RINGZ: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, (yo bra, what's after 21?!)... 22... 23... 24... 25... 26... 27... 27 RINGZ!!!! SPOONED!
RED SUX RINGZ: 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 7 RINGZ! awfulolzomgesundheit!
NUMBRE OF YEARZ AS LARGEST PAYROLL IN MLB: ALL OF THEM!
AMOUNT COMMITTED TO 3 FREE AGENTS IN 2008-09 OFFSEASON TO WIN THE WORLD SERIES: $423.5 million ($161 mil C C Sandwichia, $180 mil Teixeira, $82.5 mil Burnett).
NUMBER OF SHINY TEETH IN DEREK JETER'S FACE: 33!
NUMBER OF SHINY STARS ON DEREK JETER'S REPORT CARD: 200!
NUMBER OF TIMES I FANTASISE ABOUT DEREK JETER IN TEH SHOWER: [redacted - the Mgt.]
NUMBER OF TIMES WE YANKEE FANS IGNORED THE GREATEST CHOKE IN PLAYOFF HISTORY: Every.
NUMBER OF TIMES WE YANKEE FANS IGNORED THE TEAM DURING THE FIRST HALF OF TEH SEASON, WHEN THEY SUCKED: A lot.
NUMBER OF CURSES AND INSULTS UTTERED TO A RED SOX CLOSER AND HIS WIFE ON THE STREETS OF NEW YORK: 1,362 (Hat tip - Rasmussen polling.)
NUMBER OF NEW YORK'S FINEST RIOT POLICE MASSING ON THE FIELD TO PROTECT PLAYERS FROM AN ANGRY MOB IN THE 2004 ALCS: Several hundred.
How is this a rivalry?
In addition ungrammaticalcomma to the numbers listed above where'sacommawhenyouneedone the 2009 Yankees had the best record of any World Series winner this decade!! Which is much more awesome than sweeping two World Series, or coming back from being down 3-1 in one series, and 3-0 in another! Or competing with $70 million less in payroll!
Hats off to the WORLD CHAMPEEN New York Yankees, so that we can collect change from passersby and maybe one day afford a ticket to see them!
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I <3 you, E. Coli
You make me happy when skies are gray.
by Ben Buchanan on Nov 9, 2009 1:10 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
He'll never know, dear, how MUCH you ♥ him.
You the man, E. Coli.
Galactus does as he pleases. Because Galactus is drunk.
by Bloggy on Nov 9, 2009 1:54 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
Rec'd
I gotta go 'cause I'm probably definitely gonna nod out again.
by Drugs Delaney on Nov 9, 2009 2:02 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Whew!!! This is the gatekeeper for OTM.
When Randy is off playing God (No blasphemy and Randy is the man) E-Coli guards and rules with an iron fist upon the devils and trolls!
On Da Hop! Rec’d
"Hating the New York Yankees is as American as apple pie, unwed mothers and cheating on your income tax." -- Mike Royko
by sox-inda-south on Nov 9, 2009 6:19 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
RE:
E-Coli is my troll killer. He’s worth his weight in gold for that alone.
by Randy Booth on Nov 9, 2009 6:33 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
E. Coli the Troll-Killer
Rock me, sexy Jesus...
by nuthinboutnuthin on Nov 9, 2009 11:00 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
This made my life complete
I didn't like the old one very much. I didn't see the ball there very well. - Julio Lugo on the old Yankees Stadium.
by Charged on Nov 10, 2009 2:10 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
There's an ad for Yankees world championship gear at the top of the page...
"Baseball is drama with an endless run and an ever-changing cast." - Joe Garagiola
Chowdah Chatter - an outlet for my random thoughts and such.
by crabchowdah on Nov 10, 2009 6:17 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
And on every page I open on Facebook. >:(
@bs_uf15bosox9be 12 pieces of bacon, a Red Bull, and go get 'em; Learn to use SB Nation
by bs.uf15bosox9bears23 on Nov 13, 2009 11:35 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
Funny
And I mean it.
Though I didn’t get
NUMBER OF TIMES WE YANKEE FANS IGNORED THE TEAM DURING THE FIRST HALF OF TEH SEASON, WHEN THEY SUCKED: A lot.
Cool except that’s false because one million Yankee fans already jumped off a cliff killing themselves after 0-8 and they still bounced back to 9-9. And the Yankees always suck int he first half and have beastly second halves and when it’s the Sox it’s almost the opposite.
by Lolmoarpl0x on Nov 10, 2009 9:36 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
NUMBER OF TIMES WE YANKEE FANS IGNORED THE TEAM DURING THE FIRST HALF OF TEH SEASON, WHEN THEY SUCKED: A lot.
Where were all u red sox fans before 2004? we yankee fans have always been faithful and will always be no matter how long it take to win a world series.
"Yes we lost and yes we are upset. But like all Champs we will bounce back."
Osi umenyiora
by donnybaseball23 on Nov 11, 2009 1:11 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Does anyone want to handle this?
Or should we just ignore it?
Rock me, sexy Jesus...
by nuthinboutnuthin on Nov 11, 2009 2:12 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
I vote ignore.
If he can’t be bothered to spell out “you”, I can’t be bothered responding.
Galactus does as he pleases. Because Galactus is drunk.
by Bloggy on Nov 11, 2009 2:18 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
But what if doesn't know how to spell "you"?
Bloggy, won’t you think of the children? Those poor, stupid children…
Rock me, sexy Jesus...
by nuthinboutnuthin on Nov 11, 2009 2:36 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
Hooked on phonics...
…failed Donny big-time.
Galactus does as he pleases. Because Galactus is drunk.
by Bloggy on Nov 11, 2009 2:40 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
glad u guys are annoyed.
"Yes we lost and yes we are upset. But like all Champs we will bounce back."
Osi umenyiora
by donnybaseball23 on Nov 12, 2009 3:08 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
Oh, goodie, I've been looking for an example sentence for my personal definition of troll on Urban Dictionary.
@bs_uf15bosox9be 12 pieces of bacon, a Red Bull, and go get 'em; Learn to use SB Nation
by bs.uf15bosox9bears23 on Nov 13, 2009 11:36 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
What a dumb shit....
Who owns the consecutive attendence record? Isn’t it us starting in 2003…..?
"Hating the New York Yankees is as American as apple pie, unwed mothers and cheating on your income tax." -- Mike Royko
by sox-inda-south on Nov 11, 2009 5:28 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
who leads baseball in attendence?
"Yes we lost and yes we are upset. But like all Champs we will bounce back."
Osi umenyiora
by donnybaseball23 on Nov 12, 2009 3:07 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
but has trouble selling out their playoff games…
"Ninety percent [of my salary] I'll spend on good times, women, and Irish whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste."
-Tug McGraw
by BTLove on Nov 12, 2009 3:16 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
Ooo! Ooo!
Is it the Padres?
Rock me, sexy Jesus...
by nuthinboutnuthin on Nov 13, 2009 2:32 AM EST up reply actions 0 recs
it wasnt called a “sellout” cause they didnt sell their standing room only tickets.
"Yes we lost and yes we are upset. But like all Champs we will bounce back."
Osi umenyiora
by donnybaseball23 on Nov 13, 2009 2:58 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
Hey. Don't call it a sellout.
I’ve been here for years.
Galactus does as he pleases. Because Galactus is drunk.
by Bloggy on Nov 13, 2009 3:20 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
I'm surprised
That no one wanted to pay $ 500 for an SRO ticket. I guess Yankees fans have gotten accustomed to hiding in watching the game from the comfort of their living rooms over the last several years…
Rock me, sexy Jesus...
by nuthinboutnuthin on Nov 13, 2009 3:27 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
That'd be a great comparison, if we had equal size stadiums.
@bs_uf15bosox9be 12 pieces of bacon, a Red Bull, and go get 'em; Learn to use SB Nation
by bs.uf15bosox9bears23 on Nov 13, 2009 11:38 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
Okay, "all u[s] red sox fans" on OTM were fans before 2004 (aside from a few younger members).
Kinda what happens when you narrow a fanbase down to those committed enough to regularly participate in a community like this. In general, there’s a hell of a lot of bandwagon Sox fans; I’m not going to deny that. In fact, once you guys have crashed because of the horrid business model currently being used, I’m going to have to debate whether I want to see the Sox lose their bandwagon fans as well, or if I want to see the Sox destroy the MFY to the greatest degree.
But if you think that MFY fans “have always been faithful and will always be no matter how long it take to win a world series”, I can recommend a great optometrist; obviously, to be so blind, you’d have to be suffering from some sort of vision issue.
@bs_uf15bosox9be 12 pieces of bacon, a Red Bull, and go get 'em; Learn to use SB Nation
by bs.uf15bosox9bears23 on Nov 13, 2009 11:45 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
Horrid business model?
Yanks own their own television network. YES made $400 million in revenue last year. Thats great business yo. Not to mention this brilliant business decision by George back in ’96
Strikeouts are boring- Besides that, they're fascist. Throw some ground balls - it's more democratic.
by CasanovaWong on Nov 14, 2009 2:40 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
Exaggeration, but I wouldn't call some of the contracts they've been giving out good decisions.
There are players like Rodriguez, Teixiera, and Sabathia that will be paid like they’re the best at the point in their career when they’ve become average at best.
@bs_uf15bosox9be 12 pieces of bacon, a Red Bull, and go get 'em; Learn to use SB Nation
by bs.uf15bosox9bears23 on Nov 14, 2009 6:29 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
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