BREAKING NEWS: ALCS "Not the WWF"
By the Aggravated Press
St. Petersburg, FL: In an early morning press conference, David "Big Papi" Ortiz discussed the American League Champsionship Series. He expanded upon his previous remarks, made Friday, about how the ALCS was "not the WWF."
"There's no bad blood. This is not the WWF. It's a baseball game, bro," Ortiz said on Friday. He reiterated that sentiment today: "Man, I don't know why you keep asking me this. This is just baseball, not the WWF."
Ortiz then raised the World Series trophy over his head, shouting "You want this?! You want this?! This trophy is MINE!!!"
Ortiz's controversial remarks provoked outrage in some quarters.
John "The Trader" Henry called out Ortiz for his comments. "I OWN this team. Big Papi works for me, and he's shown me nothing but disrespect," the Red Sox principal owner said.
Henry then tore open his suit to reveal bulging muscles. "If Big Papi doesn't shape up, he'll be FIIIIIIRED," Henry asserted, gesticulating wildly.
In the Rays dugout, Carlos Pena addressed the subject. "The Pena believes - write this down - the Pena thinks that Big Papi is - write this down... Hold on a second... Do you like pie? You do... Alright, because the Pena thinks that you should bake the BIGGEST pie..."
Pena then told this reporter to do something anatomically impossible.
Some teammates of Big Papi had different opinions of the series. Mike Timlin, asked about possible bad blood between the Rays and Red Sox, stated, "Oh yes. Absolutely. There will be blood."
Timlin then turned to Dustin Pedroia, and began to yell. "MO-MEN-TUM!! Momentum my boy!"
"If you have momentum, and I don't, then I reach... across the field... I suck your momentum," he continued.
"I... SUCK... YOUR... MOMENTUM!! I SUCK IT ALL!!!" Timlin declared.
"Stop bullying me!" retorted Pedroia.
Mike Timlin then threw Pedroia across the clubhouse.
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6 comments
Comments
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
YOU SHOULD LIKE DO STAND-UP!
Well, I'll appreciate for you to keep my zingers outta your mouth!
by BoSox415 on Oct 12, 2008 2:27 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Hahahahaah, you're still the best, Ecoli
Mother---- him and John Wayne!
by MerryGoByeBye on Oct 12, 2008 2:28 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Hey people
I’ll be on a trip tomorrow and tuesday, so I’ll miss game 3 and 4. So there’s just one thing I’d like to say while I’m away: Go Sox!
Mother---- him and John Wayne!
by MerryGoByeBye on Oct 12, 2008 6:43 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Great post
I love the TWBB references. Will there be any DRB/OTM cage matches in the forseeable future?
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.
by Sandy Kazmir on Oct 13, 2008 11:59 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
"Pena then told this reporter to do something anatomically impossible"
I like this…nice post.
by steve-o1285 on Oct 13, 2008 1:06 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Funny
Remember when we were kids and we mixed sodas together and called them "suicides"? It was OK though, because Dr. Pepper was always there.
by bs.uf15bosox9bears23 on Oct 13, 2008 9:23 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

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