Promoted Diary: A Glimpse of what will never be

[Editor's Note by SoxDevil:] I think this is front-page material. Kudos to E-coli.

With the Santana-Mets trade nearing completion, many people here breathed a sigh of relief, thankful the star lefty was NOT a Yankee and our top prospects remained. However, in expectation of another possibility, I had written the following:

Santana Man
(with apologies to Billy Joel)

It's six o'clock on a game day,
The regular crowd tramples in.
There's a pink hat sitting next to me
Oggling Bosox and looking for skin.

She says, "Where is my homeboy Jacoby?
"I think that he is so hot."
And I say "Yesterday he was traded away
So now Coco is back in his spot."

Oh, la la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da.

Win us a Cy, you're Santana, man.
Win us a Cy this year.
`Cause we all were so very in love with Ellsbury
We're wishing that he was still here.

Now Santana is throwing a warm-up pitch -
96 miles per hour at the knees.
And he knows that it's he, that we're coming to see,
To forget about lost Tacobies.

Oh, la la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da.

Now Francona's a cud-chewing manager
Who's often too late with the hook;
And he's talking with Manny, who went to the canny
In a special Green Monster nook.

And Curt Schilling is practicing politics,
While the bullpen keeps drumming away;
As they're looking to score, add some runs to the board,
Coco hits into a double play.

Win us a Cy, you're Santana, man.
Win us a Cy this year.
`Cause we all were so very in love with Ellsbury
We're wishing that he was still here.