What if the Pats were playing Cleveland

My brother emailed me the following thread. Great concept.

From:  XXX  
To:  YYY  
Subject:  RE: Hybrid - Pats / Sox
Date:  Fri, 12 Oct 2007 12:15:41 -0700

Done...  Bruschi switched with Wilfork....   just made the the change on the official scorecard.  Score card by the way is kept in the back room of the Purple Shamrock near Fanuel hall

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From: YYY  
Sent: Friday, October 12, 2007 12:12 PM
To: XXX
Subject: RE: Hybrid - Pats / Sox

Looks good, but I'd bat Bruschi 3rd.  Your #3 guy has to be your best all-around hitter and I'm bettin' that's Tedy.  Move Wolfork down to 6th since he's gotta deal with catching anyhow.

From: XXX
Sent: Friday, October 12, 2007 10:15 AM
To: YYY
Subject: Hybrid - Pats / Sox

Here is my take on who would play where if the Pats were the Red Sox...  I think it makes a lot of sense.
Let me know what you think...  They are all WINNERS!!!!

Batting order:
Leading off playing 2nd base: Wes Welker (gotta get speed on the bases)

Batting 2nd playing Center Field:  Rodney Harrison (covers a boatload of ground a 40 / 40 man)

Batting 3rd and Catching: Vince Willfork (Weighin in at 340 bills, no one gets by the plate)

Batting Clean up as DH:  Logan Mankins (He can't get out of his own way but can crush the Tatar & weighs in at 320 bills)

Batting 5th playing 1st base:  Richard Seymour (He's got a good glove, nothing gets by)

Batting 6th playing Short Stop: Tedy Bruschi (Just because he's a superb athlete and can turn 2 like a big dawg)

Batting 7th playing  3rd  base:  Asante Samuel (A complete vacuum, knocks everything down, nuthin gets by, picks everything)

Batting 8th playing Left field:  Randy Moss (Can jump so high that he will be the first person in Red Sox history to rob hitters of home runs over the Green Monsta)

Batting 9th playing Right Field:  Chad Jackson (Plays the hell out of the short porch in right)

Starting Pitcher 4 man rotation:  Tom Brady (Cy Young award winner), Matt Cassell, Larry Maroney, Randal Gay

Middle relief:  Mike Vrabel (all heat, no junk at all), Troy Brown (all junk, mostly splitters that drop off the table), Ellis Hobbs (all breakin stuff, makes hitters look silly)

Closer:  Stephen Gostkowski (Throws 98 mph fast ball and a crazy splitta, good for 1 inning only but that's all he needs)

Head Coach:  Bill Belichick (A proven winner plus it's legal to steal signals in baseball- He's got the experience)

1st base coach:  John Hannah (Hall of famer- A winner, can't go wrong with him)

3rd base coach:  Doug Flutie (Great at making critical decisions during crunch time, proven winner, chicks dig him)

Trainer;  Dr. Bill Lenkitis (Did a great job for the pats in the 80's, and was a Dentist as well, so what the hell, would be a good trainer)

Director of player relations;  Hands down, Wade Boggs (Kuz we know he was good at relations)

Owner:  Robert Kraft of course (He will give Fenway a face lift, eliminate the Obstructed View seats, then double the cost of tickets)

Team Mom:  Bridgett Moynahan  (What the heck...  might as well, she's a new Mom but the team really likes her)

Most likely candidate to throw out the first pitch
Game 1:  Bobby Orr (Score!!!!  Would the place go nuts or what)
                                                  Game 2:  John Havlichek ( Mr Tripple overtime)
                                                  Game 3:  Mike Aruzzioni (Do you believe in mericles?)
                                                  Game 4:  YAZ  (To complete the sweep)

Honorary Team Captains:  Darrel Stingley & Toni Conigliaro  (Always good to play the sympathy card.)

Stadium Food Vendor of choice:  The Sausage King (located behind the Green Monsta)

Team Bar: Cask & Flaggin (Excuse my spelling I was crushed everytime there)

One last note, Billy Buckner is not involved and will never be a part of this team.