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Around SBN: The Animated GIFs Of January

Sox fans are pests.

Here.

Or read this:

...and I'm not referring to the midges. No I'm talking about an arguably worse sort of pest. The Boston Red Sox Fan. This pest remains dormant for 86 years, awakens, and hangs around bugging us hardworking Americans for a few years before assuredly going dormant again for another 86 years. Unfortunately these pesky buggers were awoken recently in the Autumn of 2004, and have been wreaking havoc with their unjustified sense of entitlement, disregard of others, and fowl odor! These buggers invade poor economically ravaged cities during the summer months under the banner of the Red Sox Nation, and are compelled to make their presence known by shouting down at the opposing fans at games, and clapping their hands loud enough to traumatize small children when visiting local pubs and eateries. They release mind numbing films (think "Fever Pitch"), force poor actors upon us (Ben Affleck & Matt Damon...I like to combine there names like this Damleck or Affmon...its a fun little game), and horrify our children with images of Kevin Youkilis' sweaty bald head. -LGT user hans

In case you're scoring at home, the average Sox fan is responsible for:

  • Releasing "Fever Pitch".
  • Giving birth to and/or career help to Matt Damon and Ben Affleck.
  • Applauding their team.
  • Sox fans are:
  • Not hardworking (this claim seems dubious at best, as lots of money needs to be made and saved to get into Fenway for even one game).
  • Smelly (to be fair to hans, I just got back from the gym and haven't showered yet).
  • Owners of chicken smell, just in case I fixed a homophone where I shouldn't have.
  • All I have to say is, what, no reference to pink hats?

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    Re: Sox fans are pests.
    What do you expect? They're Cleveland. They center their whole baseball existence on two mediocre baseball movie. And note that they can't even win the World Series in fiction -- the second movie tells us the lost the LCS to the White Sox in the first movie, and they get to the WS in the second, but you know they're just going to blow it.

    by RSNexile on Oct 10, 2007 2:57 AM EDT reply actions  

    Re: Sox fans are pests.
    Fever Pitch was originally a book about crazy soccer fans in England, I believe it was Arsenal fans.

    At least Boston Celebs are actually Sox fans, umm....Lebron.

    Hell, Lebron is such an embarrassment to the Tribe fans they should not be throwing any stones.

    BTW, someone please refresh my history here...didn't Cleveland burn sometime in US history?  Or was that just the lake?

    by SoxAcumen on Oct 10, 2007 6:53 AM EDT reply actions  

    Re: Sox fans are pests.
    1999 ALDS?
    Bottom 9th B:1 S:0 O:0 With Bill Mueller batting, Dave Roberts steals (1) 2nd base.

    by britsoxfan on Oct 10, 2007 7:22 AM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: Sox fans are pests.
    Hell, remeber Nicole Kidman in '04?  Just seeing her in a MFY cap told me we were going to win.
    You can take the boy outta Boston, but you can't take the Boston outta the boy.

    by B Cap on Oct 10, 2007 12:59 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: Sox fans are pests.
    There is that infamous picture of Tom Brady in a NYY hat to consider.

    by Allen Chace on Oct 10, 2007 1:00 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: Sox fans are pests.
    Tom Brady is a No Cal transplant, Lebron is born and raised in Akron.  I'm going with Lebron being more of an embarrassment.

    by SoxAcumen on Oct 10, 2007 2:06 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: Sox fans are pests.
    Twas the Cuyahoga river that burned. I doesn't any more though.

    by sdkramer.otm on Oct 11, 2007 9:43 AM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: Sox fans are pests.
    It was our river that caught fire - not the lake.  

    If you read the diary you'll see that I wasn't thrilled with its contents, and I don't think you should judge all Tribe fans by it.

    Let's have a hard-fought, trash-talking, shake-hands-afterward series.

    Cheers.

    by tabler84 from LGT on Oct 10, 2007 9:32 AM EDT reply actions  

    Re: Sox fans are pests.
    Personally, I'm not that upset. It's like a caricature of fanbase assasination. I thought the tone I took in my response was more of whimsy than judgemental.

    How can you talk badly about Sox fans without mentioning Boston's history (but not present) of racism? Of alcoholism? Of funny accents?

    by Allen Chace on Oct 10, 2007 12:45 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: Sox fans are pests.
    I like your attitude...plus, nothing could be worse than what Angels fans had to say.  Good luck and may the best team win.
    You can take the boy outta Boston, but you can't take the Boston outta the boy.

    by B Cap on Oct 10, 2007 1:00 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: Sox fans are pests.
    I'm not a scientist or any thing but how does a river burn?

    LoL, before all this gets out of hand, love the trash talking...so before we hurt each others feelings...best of luck in the series.

    BTW, Cleveland fans must take responsibility for the five years of that crappy Drew Carry show and "Cleveland Rocks".

    by SoxAcumen on Oct 10, 2007 2:14 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Burning rivers
    Well, that was in the bad old days before the Clean Water Act.  Add enough hydrocarbons to anything plus an accelerant and poof! there you go.  Interesting that Dirty Water was written about Boston and not Cleveland eh?
    You can take the boy outta Boston, but you can't take the Boston outta the boy.

    by B Cap on Oct 10, 2007 6:07 PM EDT up reply actions  

    LOL-Cleveland
    Cleveland? Really? Is there any reason to even bother w/ that city?  Has anyone here ever visited C-town? Does the sunshine there? Is there any parts of C-town not a ghetto? At least Boston and its fans support the Sox. Look where Clev. finished in attendance this year. The Browns? lol The Cavs (lol after Lebron leaves)? The Tribe's a great team that has overcome the problem of being a rep. of the city of Cleveland.  Does anyone really think they will win the WS? Or will they find a way to blow it like all the other C-Town teams before them.  
    Even if they beat the sox, they will find a way to blow it. Its just what C-Town does, they leave the poor citizens of Clev. w/ blue balls. Cleveland sucks, its the armpit of America. They have nothing to come back with in any argument. They are one of the poorest big cities in America. Its a dead, vacant town. Great ball team, horrible city. City of losers.

    by Matzushocka on Oct 10, 2007 10:11 AM EDT reply actions  

    "ny reason to even bother w/ that city"
    Huey Lewis seemed to dig it.
    Just my two cents. Keep the change.

    by tommy.otm on Oct 10, 2007 11:02 AM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: LOL-Cleveland
    You're truly jumping in the mud with this, matzu.  And you're making yourself look pretty silly.

    "Cleveland? Really? Is there any reason to even bother w/ that city?"

    Don't know what this even means.

    "Does the sunshine there?"

    Relentlessly, in fact.  They're enduring drought conditions.

    "Is there any parts of C-town not a ghetto?"

    Solid grammar, and yes.  It's not 1980.

    "At least Boston and its fans support the Sox. Look where Clev. finished in attendance this year."

    This is a fair point -- I was rather disappointed with our attendance for much of the year.  But keep in mind that you have a much larger population of potential fans from which to draw.

    "Does anyone really think they will win the WS? Or will they find a way to blow it like all the other C-Town teams before them."

    Again, grammar.  We certainly do find unique ways to lose, don't we?  It's ugly.  But then, the Sox were trapped in that rut for a long time and found a way to overcome it.  I'm surprised a Sox fan -- once the very definition of "cursed" -- is making fun of Cleveland fans for enduring the same fate.

    "Cleveland sucks, its the armpit of America."

    Try a semicolon if you want to start a new thought without a conjunction.  Also, that's just a stupid smear.

    "They have nothing to come back with in any argument."

    Only I just did.

    "Its a dead, vacant town. Great ball team, horrible city. City of losers."

    Very civil of you.

    by tabler84 from LGT on Oct 10, 2007 11:18 AM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: LOL-Cleveland
    Tabler, c'mon silly boy. This is Cleveland we are talking about. In all that you posted, you had to keep going back to my grammar. Its a blog/message board welcome to the internet...bad grammar runs the net. Im not gonna feed ya Tabler after this post. Im done w/ ya. I will just point out the poor economy of C-town, and the fact your city hasn't won anything in how long?  

    by Matzushocka on Oct 10, 2007 11:28 AM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: LOL-Cleveland
    Heh, grammar was a small part of my defense!

    Honestly, mats, why throw out ignorant smears?  And why smear us for enduring the same painful baseball fate that you endured for so long?  Are you somehow high and mighty now that you have a ring?  You know, you sound more like a Yankees fan when you talk like that.

    And economically, Cleveland suburbs are a fantastic place to live.  Manufacturing has collapsed in many American cities, but the quality of life and schools in the Cleveland suburbs are excellent.

    by tabler84 from LGT on Oct 10, 2007 11:34 AM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: LOL-Cleveland
    tabler, Im from c-town :)

    by Matzushocka on Oct 10, 2007 11:54 AM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: LOL-Cleveland
    LOL at me being leveled -- I think?

    by tabler84 from LGT on Oct 10, 2007 12:23 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: LOL-Cleveland
    Parents from Mass. I hate it here. Im ft student at Case and when Im done, Im leaving :)

    by Matzushocka on Oct 10, 2007 12:37 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: LOL-Cleveland
    Tabler...I should add that we're all a little thin skinned from dealing with the Angels.  no matter how hard one tried they would NOT talk baseball but would rant at you about how stupid Boston was and how awful the fans are...it got to be very depressing.
    You can take the boy outta Boston, but you can't take the Boston outta the boy.

    by B Cap on Oct 10, 2007 1:04 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: LOL-Cleveland
    B Cap,

    You'll be delighted to know I invoked you in a long, ultimately fruitless argument with an admin at LGT over the notion that affirming an "[insert name of ballclub] fans are jerks" was sort of a bleacher bum move.

    You've been a modicum of lurking, which is like trolling, but without any negative connotations. In fact, I believe you've created a new Internet term.

    Lurking: def. Hanging out in enemey territory, but solely to talk baseball.

    May I lurk? Our season's over, and at this point, the best baseball discussion is here.  

    Yankee Ombudsman

    by LateInningRelief on Oct 10, 2007 9:50 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: LOL-Cleveland
    That's me, I'm a helper.  I try to help.

    LIR - you truely do live up to your tagline - you're our honorary Yankee Ombudsman for sure.
    By the way, where do you stand on the whole Torre debate?  As a Sox fan I'd be happy to see him leave as I think he's a very good at managing the Yankees specifically. I.e. keeps player egos in line, shields them from Steinbrenner's insanity and doesn't ever pull a Grady Little.

    You can take the boy outta Boston, but you can't take the Boston outta the boy.

    by B Cap on Oct 11, 2007 2:44 AM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: LOL-Cleveland
    Torre should get a one year extension, plus an option for another. For all his foibles, there's no better option. Mattingly needs another year or two on the bench.

    LaRussa: Too prickly for NY
    Mattingly: Needs more seasoning
    Girardi: Bad on young arms; see Marlins, Florida, circa 2007
    Valentine: Will never jibe with the buttoned-down FO

    Somebody over at PA made the best suggestion re: handling Steinbrenner. Somebody should replace his telephone with a fake phone. I'd go that one better and have it dial in directly to Cashman's secretary. That way, when he wants to vent his spleen, Cash's staff can chat with him in the guise of the news media.

    Yankee Ombudsman

    by LateInningRelief on Oct 11, 2007 11:03 AM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: LOL-Cleveland
    I think you've nailed it...good thing YOU don;t run the Yankees. We'd be fucked.  Don would be interesting since he's such an iconic name.  I think ol george knows torre is too popular to axe at this point and maybe even knows that Torre didn;t fuck up Cashman did, if anyone, in failing to get better depth in the pitching staff and always throwing money at problems.
    You can take the boy outta Boston, but you can't take the Boston outta the boy.

    by B Cap on Oct 11, 2007 7:30 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: LOL-Cleveland
    First, I would be the most hated GM in Yankee history. I would offer A-Rod no more than 7 years for $210M, guaranteeing that he walks, and then go after Lowell and see if I could swing an offer for Santana or Lackey to bolster my newbie pitchers. Plus, I would have been fired long ago for being unable to placate George.

    I'm not sure that Cashman failed in not getting better depth in the pitching staff as much as he (horrors) made a decision to let his farm crop come to yield rather than trading it away. As antithetical as it is to the MFY, Cashman said no to trading Hughes, Chamberlain or Kennedy for a post-season shot.

    Probably some of that was due to the fact that even at the trading deadline, the Yankees still looked out of contention for the post. But I give Cash credit for not making a quick fix and allowing (double horrors) George to insist on bidding for Texeira or Gagne. (Sorry, guys.)

    End result: Cashman should get credit for sticking with a (triple horrors) long-term plan, even if it means going through a rebuilding year.

    Yankee Ombudsman

    by LateInningRelief on Oct 11, 2007 11:22 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: LOL-Cleveland
    I really don't think the Twins are going to be trading Santana before his contract is out unless they are given the talent (Phil Hughes?...yeah thought so). I'm more concerned about the Twins making a run at us (Indians fan here) next year in the division than any other team. The pitching staff is going to be extremely solid (Santana, Liriano, Garza, Baker, Slowey/Bonser) there bullpen will remain great (as their the one team that seems to have consistent relief pitching and Nathan is still there for one more year). Much like the Indians with CC next year, keeping their ace is going to be much more valuable to them if it ends up with them making the playoffs (playoff $) than if they gave up on the season.

    by Hans The Most Excellent xlgtx on Oct 12, 2007 12:13 AM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: LOL-Cleveland
    Agreed with Hans. The Twins are going to require some real talent in exchange for Santana, which means Hughes or Chamberlain as a centerpiece for the Yanks, and Ellsbury or Buchholz (or both) as a centerpiece for the Sox. Ian Kennedy, Jon Lester, Michael Bowden, Tabata, etc. are filler pieces for this type of trade.

    With the emergence of Neshek, they could probably afford to trade Nathan for offense somewhere (LF/DH? CF? 2B? 3B?).

    by Allen Chace on Oct 12, 2007 12:23 AM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: LOL-Cleveland
    I'd love to see the Twins keep Santana, resign Hunter, sign Barry Bonds to a one-year deal, and make a push for the whole pie.

    But I wouldn't be shocked if the Twins traded him. I'm sure they're listening (and I don't see Wang getting it done, despite what Gammons says). The Dodgers, Angels, Diamondbacks, Rockies, Mets - hell, even the Devil Rays - all have the young talent to get it done.

    Manny Ramirez is a bad man

    by tommy.otm on Oct 12, 2007 12:37 AM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: LOL-Cleveland
    I wouldn't be shocked either. Either of the LA teams would be interesting destinations. I'd have to think the Rays will hold onto their chips in this case unless they also decide to loosen the purse strings a bit.

    by Allen Chace on Oct 12, 2007 12:43 AM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: LOL-Cleveland
    Not saying they will trade for him (God, I hope they don't - Kazmir and Santana in a three game series - egads), just sayng that they have the talent to do it. I can only imagine where they'd be if they suddenly decided to be a $60 million team. With their core of Kazmir, Crawford, Upton, Pena, Young, Longoria, etc., they could be a force.
    Manny Ramirez is a bad man

    by tommy.otm on Oct 12, 2007 12:52 AM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: LOL-Cleveland
    I have to think in the Rays case that one of their proven OFs (Upton, Crawford, Young) would be the target, and it would likely be one of the first two. I imagine James Shields might come up as well.

    by Allen Chace on Oct 12, 2007 12:57 AM EDT up reply actions  

    Totally
    If I were the Rays' GM, I'd base the package around Crawford, just because he's closest to FA and in my opinion he has the lowest ceiling of the three (which is not a slight, because I think the other two may wind up superstars).

    The Rays also have some very good pitching prospects coming down the pipeline (to lazy/tired to look up their names), I'm sure they'd be part of the (hypothetical) discussion.

    But no way the Rays pull it off.

    Manny Ramirez is a bad man

    by tommy.otm on Oct 12, 2007 1:02 AM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: Totally
    You're probably thinking of David Price (drafted out of my local, though far too expensive for me to consider as a college, Vanderbilt) and/or Jeff Niemann? Neumann? Or maybe you were thinking of someone else entirely? (Quite possible, as my familiarity with the Rays non-ML pitchers is limited to those two and limited even in those cases).

    by Allen Chace on Oct 12, 2007 1:09 AM EDT up reply actions  

    Yep
    Those are them...

    Sleepy time...

    Manny Ramirez is a bad man

    by tommy.otm on Oct 12, 2007 1:11 AM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: Yep
    No matter how you slice it though, I think the Rays will suprise us in the near future...they have a lot of young talant and intend to put a winning product on the field.  They may not contend for the division, but wildcard?  Certainly possible.
    You can take the boy outta Boston, but you can't take the Boston outta the boy.

    by B Cap on Oct 12, 2007 6:08 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: LOL-Cleveland
    In my view, they could have Hughes, not Chamberlain, provided Santana signs a 4 year extension.
    Yankee Ombudsman

    by LateInningRelief on Oct 12, 2007 2:59 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: LOL-Cleveland
    I'd take Johan over Joba in a heartbeat.
    Manny Ramirez is a bad man

    by tommy.otm on Oct 12, 2007 6:54 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: LOL-Cleveland
    Matsu: I did not mean this post to delve into similar stereotypes and muck-throwing about Cleveland. I'd prefer to keep it respectful, and take an annoyingly arrogant "oh, look at what this (ONE CLEVELAND FAN) guy is doing" smugness.

    by Allen Chace on Oct 10, 2007 1:01 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: LOL-Cleveland
    I think all the comments are made with a smile.  Our teams are evenly matched up, might as well talk about our cities.
     

    by SoxAcumen on Oct 10, 2007 2:20 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: LOL-Cleveland
    But you have to admit, Allen, that Fever Pitch is to Major League as Analyze This is to The Godfather. Nothing but a pale imitation.

    ;)

    Yankee Ombudsman

    by LateInningRelief on Oct 10, 2007 10:28 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: LOL-Cleveland
    ML is one of my all-time favorite (sports) movies. So many excellent quotes.

    by Allen Chace on Oct 10, 2007 10:31 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Never saw Fever Pitch
    And it's not on my 100+ Netflix queue. Though I might be in it - I "accidentally" walked through the filming of a scene in an outdoor cafe on Newbury Street.
    Just my two cents. Keep the change.

    by tommy.otm on Oct 10, 2007 10:38 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: LOL-Cleveland
    Yes, Fever Pitch blows...I do not think anyone is debating the acting talents of Jimmy Fallon.  However, I believe Cleveland has many crimes against humanity in the form of entertainment, the before mentioned Drew Carey and "Cleveland Rocks" is one example, that you must take full responsibility.  

    So using your example "The Drew Carey Show" is to "Cheers" as "Fever Pitch" is to "Major League."

    Again the book was good when the main character was a die-hard Arsenal fan.  The whole thing really did not work as a baseball movie.  You cannot mix Euro-sports with US-sports, something is lost in translation.

    by SoxAcumen on Oct 10, 2007 10:56 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: LOL-Cleveland
    "The Drew Carey Show" is to "Cheers" as "Fever Pitch" is to "Major League."

    Word.

    Manny Ramirez is a bad man

    by tommy.otm on Oct 10, 2007 11:01 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Youk?
    They are seriously making fun of Youk's appearance? I'm sorry, but Hafner is possibly the ugliest man in baseball. I'd never really appreciated his ugliness til I watched an ALDS game on HD. Ugh. Lee. It's like someone hit Vin Deisel with the ugly stick and taught him how to hit.
    Just my two cents. Keep the change.

    by tommy.otm on Oct 10, 2007 11:01 AM EDT reply actions  

    Re: Youk?
    Heh, he married a high school classmate of mine.  But in fairness to Travis, I think he's growing his playoff beard and actually trying to be ugly.  Or ugli*er*.

    by tabler84 from LGT on Oct 10, 2007 11:10 AM EDT up reply actions  

    He doesn't have to try too hard
    But likewise, I think Youk grew out the beard to make himself look hard. He has kind of a baby face without it.
    Just my two cents. Keep the change.

    by tommy.otm on Oct 10, 2007 11:18 AM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: He doesn't have to try too hard
    I love Youk and would love him on the Tribe, fwiw.  And I could care less what he looks like.

    by tabler84 from LGT on Oct 10, 2007 11:21 AM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: He doesn't have to try too hard
    That's not a beard; it's a ferret attached to his chin! :)

    And what else do you expect from a man nicknamed Project Donkey? (Pronk).

    "You know you're having a bad day when the fifth inning rolls around and they drag the warning track." - Mike Flanagan, Baltimore Orioles pitcher, 1992.

    by SoxDevil on Oct 10, 2007 1:19 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: He doesn't have to try too hard
    Pronk is the man, he is a really funny guy.

    by Matzushocka on Oct 10, 2007 1:21 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: Youk?
    You can take the boy outta Boston, but you can't take the Boston outta the boy.

    by B Cap on Oct 10, 2007 6:18 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: Sox fans are pests.
    I am in school to become something all people hate :) Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe style.

    by Matzushocka on Oct 10, 2007 3:09 PM EDT reply actions  

    Re: Sox fans are pests.
    Heh, my father is an attorney in Cleveland, and he tells me all the time that his ilk deserves its reputation!

    by tabler84 from LGT on Oct 10, 2007 3:25 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: Sox fans are pests.
    No worries man, I am an attorney in LA, double hatred for most people, and its not the profession its the particular job.

    by SoxAcumen on Oct 10, 2007 4:32 PM EDT up reply actions  

    I'm an attorney in NYC
    And I only hate the Yankees.
    Just my two cents. Keep the change.

    by tommy.otm on Oct 10, 2007 6:28 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Re: Sox fans are pests.
    He's probably right.

    by Matzushocka on Oct 10, 2007 3:32 PM EDT reply actions  

    Re: Sox fans are pests.
    all in jest

    by Hans The Most Excellent xlgtx on Oct 10, 2007 10:09 PM EDT reply actions  

    Re: Sox fans are pests.
    Well now, there's no reason for the Tribe fans to be bashing us. We leave that to evil teams, such as the yanks.
    "SK: Hey, imagine what Steinbrenner's statue'll be doing. SO: Cast in bronze with his wallet out."

    by mmmsox on Oct 10, 2007 10:29 PM EDT reply actions  

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